Prayer has never been a big part of my relationship with God. Lately I’ve felt like I need to be praying. I’ve been finding it easier to sit in a time of prayer, but I often feel like I need something or someone else to usher me into that time. On our squad’s blog page there are usually plenty of prayer requests flying around. Recently I was reading over them, thinking of how I could be encountering God more intentionally in prayer. For some reason I got the feeling that I’m not good at prayer for others, that I’m not an intercessor, that somehow God has not granted me the ability to intercede.
Yesterday I was talking to my teammate Ian “The Schu” Schumann. I had shared with him that I was “having trouble” praying. He asked me to talk more about that. I told him that previously prayer was not a part of my life at all really. Now I will more often try to turn to prayer, but it’s difficult for me to sit in prayer and really let my time with God be filled with prayer. I’ll begin a short prayer, then my thoughts will wander to something else, and although I may continue to spend that time with God, I won’t be bringing Him my concerns or the concerns of others.
I told Ian that I had concluded that I wasn’t an intercessor. He said, “You told yourself that?”
I said, “Well I got that notion.”
He said, “Yeah, that wasn’t from you.”
When I was in about 8th or 9th grade I remember thinking that I wish the Devil would just show himself to me in a clear manifestation so I could rebuke him once and for all. I realized that he doesn’t do that because it is so much easier to push out that kind of picture of Satan that the parts of himself he shows us every day. God is working in power in the October Squad of World Racers, and if Satan can stop just one of us (me) from praying daily, he would love to. It made sense to me that maybe prayer for me was supposed to only be personal, and that intercession just wouldn’t come naturally. The truth is that God wants me in prayer, whatever I’m praying for. It’s a time for He and I to be intimate, and when I think I don’t know what to pray for and I have trouble waiting for the words, I have a list of requests for prayer from my teammates and others. I need only make a list and come to God each day with those requests. Each day it will get easier.
The other day Gary Black, one of the coaches for our World Race Squad, sent out an email encouraging all of us to “start pressing in now!” I had been allowing myself to spend a lot of time with God just resting and listening to worship music because worship has always been the easiest way for me to spend time with God. All through college, if I felt disconnected I would just go to church, where there was awesome corporate worship. I started thinking of where I could be pressing in. How could I get out of my comfort zone and expect God to work in it. Then Ian and I spoke, and I knew I needed to commit to daily prayer. So this morning I woke up and offered up a prayer of intercession. I prayed for my squad, my new nephew/godson, and a couple of friends who I know are having some financial trouble. In the next few days I’m going to make a physical list of prayers I can be offering up daily, and hopefully I’ll even get into a morning prayer routine.
It was hard this morning. Something kept telling me to stay in bed and waste the extra time I had already set aside before I needed to be somewhere. I even wasted 30 of the 60 minutes I had set aside before I got a phone call from my brother that roused me out of bed. It didn’t feel like any intense spiritual battle, but I know that our Enemy wants desperately to keep me from prayer. That knowledge encouraged me all the more to step into what has been very uncomfortable and to begin to establish the habit.
So now for the first blog-reader assignment (and I especially want to hear from those of you who don’t usually comment – a perfect opportunity to press in). I want you to comment with the way you find it easiest to be intimate with God and the way you find it most difficult or trying. Then think about why it’s hard for you to encounter God that way, and make a commitment to daily seek Him in that way. Together I want us to push Satan’s binding power out of our life. God wants us to press in to what he has for us daily, seeking more of Him in as many ways as possible. The really fun thing is you’ll find that wherever you look for Him, He’s there to give you more of Himself.
PRESS IN NOW!
