Hello supporters, sorry for not blogging in so long again but I have had nothing to write about and I am just enjoying life here in Thailand teaching children English, sweating, and eating fried rice and chicken everyday. Now I do have a topic to blog about and I’m excited for how the Lord reacts in your heart for this.
Now at first glance of the title you probably think it has to do with the recent hit movie Inside Out by Pixar, well it’s not about the movie, it’s about me. I want to warn you that I am not writing this for self glory but to share how God has been moving in me and what it’s starting to look like. Back in Guatemala my team leader at the time, Kaiden Springsteen (distantly related to the great Bruce Springsteen), sat me down and talk to me about how God wanted Kaiden to share some information with me. That information was along the lines of how God wants me pursue Him and not worry about anything else. I thought I was doing well with this, I followed and trusted Him into the world race and I thought I was doing pretty good, but I wasn’t. I was serving God by only serving others, not pursuing God himself. I came to the race to serve others and I did not believe I was going to grow much spiritually. I thought that’s what He wanted, for me to serve others, well yes but I was only focused on that. I lost track of the main goal and it took me until now to realize that.
Second one of the Adventure in Missions staff in Guatemala, Gabe Sanchez, prophesied that I would soon learn a new way to love. He also said it was they way I would “win my wife over” so that got me excited for the future. Gabe said this love was going to be a self-sacrificing kind of love, which again I thought I was doing pretty well at, but I was not sacrificing to God. I’ve only recently began to realize what kind of love he was talking about. At the time I was only thinking all I have to do is sacrifice things I love and I get my future wife batta bing batta boom. I missed the main point again! The new way I was going to learn how to love is a self-sacrificing love and it happened almost 2000’s years ago. Sure this kind of love will transfer with how I want to love my wife one day but it was meant for Him. I have to give up my earthly pleasures, everything I’m comfortable with, and it could mean even my family (sorry Mom and my future wife but Jesus denied his family at one point to) but it’s all for a better reason. For Him. I have to solely focus on God, I have to keep pursuing Him and loving Him and everything else comes second.
Third (yes I am very ignorant) was my team mate, Connor Wallace, he received a message from God just the other day that God wants me to focus internally instead of externally. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, I’ve been reading my bible, learning from the two men I just shared about, and spend a lot time in prayer most days. What more could I give and how much more internal could I get?! Then the answer hit me not even 4 hours before writing this blog. God wants me to take the information I receive from Him to my heart, not to others. I’ll use this as a example. I’m really big on the verse where it talks about how when you fast, you should wash your face and not tell anyone but the Lord what you’ve done. I believe that verse was meant for me and other people, and by that I mean I should be following what the verse says so other people won’t get mad or jealous of what I am doing but that verse is meant for God and I. He want’s me to fast so that I can solely rely on Him and the part about not telling others what you are doing, He said that because other people just shouldn’t care is in between God and I.
I’m finally realizing what God is calling me to be. I don’t have to serve others to better them, I don’t have to worry about sacrificing to others, I don’t have to read my bible to more know more. I just have to accept and pursue God first, before all other things. Yes those things I was doing are very important but those come second. I have be with God constantly, throughout everything and seek Him first. That’s what God calls all of us to do and we lose track very easily. God just wants everything in you to be out in the open for Him. He wants you through the bad times, He want’s you for the good times, God will accept you no matter what stage in your life you are art. You have to give up your worries, what others think of you, and everything that you care about on this earth because even if they are good things they are and will always be temporary. You have to give up everything, let down your arms and let God accept you for who you are. God, He is eternal, He is forever, He is the beginning and the end. You don’t have to worry about anything in this life, because if you trust in God he will provide everything you will ever need.
