My tribute to X squad (photo blog)

There have been some hilarious moments, like pushing people out of the way to escape demon bugs. Or getting stuck on the zip line in Costa Rica and awkwardly rescued. Gawking over the cartoon Tarzan’s attractiveness. Having 2 hour car jam sessions of throwbacks. Almost getting struck by the loudest lightening ever. Trying to surf and failing badly. Charging after racers acting like savages with sea mud smeared all over your body. Doing the voices for bible characters while reading the bible and making them absolutely ridiculous sounding. Pretending you’re on survivor while working on a remote island. Getting a chicken thrown in a hammock with you while sleeping. Trying to get into a boat by beach whaling it. Making shutter island movie trailers. Falling backwards out of a chair off the porch. Singing Disney songs for hours while doing manual labor and getting in leaf throwing fights. Chasing Tiff while pretending to be a zombie. Practicing for “cheer nationals” in the lake in Granada. Wrestling each other over shirts, and winning. Sleeping in hospital beds that make ungodly noises when you move them. All the Indian jokes that were said to Jay. Making a synchronized swim routine in the Little French Key. Staying in sketchy hostels that you found online that look nothing like the online picture. Derik falling on top of the bicycle in the middle of the night. “No mas Dunkin’ Donuts!”. Improv bible lessons that leave you crying from laughing so hard. Doing the iPod challenge and having the pastor and his family watching. Pastors that point with their middle fingers and wink more than they blink. Rapping “Lip Gloss” to the pastor and his family as a farewell song because it’s the only rap song that doesn’t cuss that you know. Watching every thanksgiving episode of friends on thanksgiving. Wrestling in the small crack in-between beds because there’s not enough space for two people to stand there. Having to jump off the bus as soon as we get to the airport because of a bowel movement emergency. Abi becoming Joan Rivers for the day. The conversations that happen on all girls teams-enough said. Children going from dead sleep to hard dancing in 5 seconds flat when “what you gonna do with that dessert” comes on the radio. Travel day problems that come one after another that just make you laugh. Ridiculous Christmas dance parties. All the Nemo quoting when going snorkeling. Gracie confidently walking up to the slide only to trip and fall down the slide, get stuck halfway, and then finally slide the rest of the way. Jays face every time she comes up from underneath the water. When Derik ran down the street and up 6 flights of stairs with 4 ice cream cones and head butted the door to give us ice cream that was streaming down his hands. Telling funny childhood stories. Fran spilling her whole can of Pringles before the bus leaves and all the crumbs being crunched into the ground after the driver yelled at us for not taking our shoes off because they value hygiene. Age getting asked where her ancestors come from and asked to tell a story about bringing sand from Africa to America. Scaring Liz by waiting under the bed and grabbing her foot.

There have been hard moments like having to see squad members go home. Feeling a sense of loneliness when having to switch teams so often. Rough manual labor that leaves you more than exhausted. Heat that makes your skin feel like it’s burning. People being robbed on the squad. Hard conversations having to be had. Zero alone time during all squad month. Schools that leave you feeling sad for the children and their education. Long, hot, draining travel days. Feeling like you’re in prison where you live and can’t leave for the month. Seeing children who are literally starving to death. Saying goodbye to the street boys you’ve grown to love. Stepping out of leadership and having others step into your place. Letting go of people pleasing for the squad, and your friends, best interest. And saying one last goodbye as a squad leader to Fran, with the next time I see her I won’t be her squad leader anymore. 

I’ve been able to play a part in many different breakthroughs with this squad, praise be to God. Speaking truth over each other. Facilitating good constructive feedback and necessary positive feedback. Calling the squad higher and out of the wifi and comforts trap we so easily fall into. Giving perspective to situations and people. Facilitating a space for listening prayer. Speaking identity over people and truths about their new creation. Walking people through past wounds and inner healing and deliverance. Setting the bar high for this group of people. Leading by permission instead of by position. Listening to the struggles of the squad and offering the wisdom God gives me to them if he gives me something to say. Saying the hard things so people can step into their fullest potential. Allowing people to be known by me and me be known by them. Offering grace and forgiveness and celebration instead of condemnation, shame, and guilt. Setting people up for success and growth in their new teams. And empowering the new leaders in their new positions. 

But with all this said, I have learned so much from this group of humans, more than I ever thought possible. I learned how to have confidence in the positions and places God places me in. I learned that I already have the answers and am equipped to handle whatever comes my way. I learned that vulnerability and sharing your heart are important to lead by permission instead of position. Having revelations while hiking up an active volcano and meeting God in those moments. I learned that you can’t lead effectively if there’s pride in you. I learned that I’m part of the body of Christ, plain and my title doesn’t change that. I learned that God really does speak to me for other people and there is some serious power, redemption, and healing in that. I learned that I give up on people too easily and that I need to give generous assumptions and healthy boundaries to keep myself from running away. I learned how I manipulate people and how to overcome that. I learned about the redemption of friendships and changing course. I learned the power of rest. I learned that I’m made for greatness, but it takes training and won’t be easy, but it’s a promised outcome for me. I have learned from the powells, X squad coaches, the importance of not holding things inside and how to run with perseverance towards the dreams and desires God has given you and how to not worry about his provisions. I learned from Joey how to speak with wisdom and consulting God. I learned how to work on discernment and making sure my words have purpose. I learned from Kylie the importance of being bold and saying what needs to be said and giving up passivity. I learned from her the constant growth that can be had in a relationship with God and how not to coast. And I learned from Fran the importance of communicating verbally with your words and not running away from conflict. I learned from her what it looks like to have a deep love with the father. I learned from her what Christ centered conversation is and how anything else isn’t worth saying. I learned from her how to have kingdom focus.

 I have learned how to love 46 people deeply. And in return I have been deeply loved. This blog barely scratches the surface on how much these 5 months have meant to me. Thank you for all the support financially, emotionally, and spiritually you’ve put into these 5 months for me. This was a fruitful season for many. 

(Sidebar: I’m still $950 away from being fully funded. If I don’t raise this then I won’t be able to join X squad at final debrief in Malawi in July. Please consider financially supporting me so I can finish and celebrate the end of their race season with them!)