This was my first debrief as a squad leader, so I thought I’d give some insight into what we do during debrief and some of my personal thoughts/revelations.
8:00-Breakfast with SQL’s, Mentor, and Coaches to discuss the day, team debriefs, and anything else on our mind.
9:00-Team debriefs. Each last 1 ½ hours a piece. We break down their month, celebrate with them, challenge them, help them see steps to continue moving forward.
Lunch: Sometimes…
1:00-6:00 – 30 minute increments of 1-on-1 sessions. Cutting the small talk and crap to get to the good stuff, the thing we need to work on, the things we need to believe, the things we need to celebrate, the areas we need to be challenged in, ect ect ect…
7:00- dinner…sometimes…ending up being late to session more often than not
7:30- Worship as a squad, sessions over loving each other well, vulnerability and practicing vulnerability, feedback, and declarations and celebrations.
10:00- More casual 1-on-1’s as needed/requested.
Midnight-2:00 – Go to bed around this time.
Start all over the next day.
As you can see, it was a packed 4 days. It was never overwhelming for me, but looking back on the 4 days now I can see and appreciate the strength God gave me to make it through the week. I don’t have it in me to invest in 47 people all day. I don’t have it in me to speak wisdom, truth, and revelation to people. I don’t have it in me to not show frustration or speak out of anger and impatience to people.
But God gave me the answers. He gave me the patience. He kept my eyes open. He gave me compassion and empathy and sympathy for each person and team.
But just because I am X-squad’s squad leader doesn’t mean that God wasn’t trying to bring me to my own revelations during this time.
I was forced out of my comfort zone to show vulnerability to my squad, fellow leaders, mentor, and coaches one night. I had to drop the act I was so cleverly putting on and allow everyone to see what was really going on.
I was challenged by God to believe that I can speak with authority by actually living it out and speaking in front of the squad something powerful I felt they needed to hear. I was shaking like a cucumber (those shake right) the whole time, but the power and authority I felt at that moment was shocking to me. It was the authority of God placed in my words. Powerful stuff.
I was challenged to take the advice and words of wisdom I was giving others for myself. There were several times the things I spoke to others God was clearly saying “THIS IS FOR YOU TOO JACIE, ACKNOWLEDGE THAT!” It was humbling to be speaking to someone and stopping myself and saying “dang, I needed to hear that….can we help each other work through these things?” I had to drop the pride of “I’m a squad leader and they’re only in month 1” and realize just how much wisdom they have to offer ME. And telling them when I’m receiving something they’re laying down.
Lastly, I had to get over myself. When everyone’s sign up sheets for 1-on-1’s filled up and I had over half my sheet not filled up, I allowed myself to throw a personal pity party full of comparison and second guessing. Then I realized this was the enemy trying to attack me and I laughed at him and told him I was going to have a great 1-on-1 with whoever I could, even if that’s less than everyone elses. Well, like I’ve been learning, every attack satan tries to throw at us, Jesus is standing right there with a table full of truth and blessings as well. We just have to look past the stupid, weak attacks and go sit at the table of blessings with God. I realized at the end of the day that because I had so much free time I could rest more, but more importantly, I could talk longer than 30 minutes with people. I could have 1-2 hour long conversations that didn’t have to be cut off. I could go deep and also celebrate and laugh and have a good time with people. I got to develop closer relationships with people because of this. God knows that I HATE 30 minute 1-on-1’s…so this was him blessing me with more time.
So thank the Lord that he doesn’t give me everything I think I want.
He blesses me with everything he can give me that I cannot see.
He gives me what I need and desire most in life.
This debrief was big for me, and I am so excited to continue leading X-squad for the next 4 months.
There’s an army rising up to break every chain.
