I’ve been praying some dangerous prayers recently.
“God, take me deeper and draw me closer to you.”
“God, show me that you’re all I need.. REALLY show me.”
“God, help me to be more intimate with you, to rely on you alone, to find complete joy and contentment with only you.”
It’s one thing to pray these prayers, it’s another to mean them and actually seek answers to these prayers.
Enter “The Thing That Scares Me Most”
Well.. Let me back-pedal a bit…
I’ve got a God-Sized dream.
God’s cultivated it and added to it and taken away from it over the last 3 years.
The dream is alive and I’m passionate about it and I’m willing to see it come true!
God has worked in my heart so much over the last year and now he’s asking me to take that next step.
The scariest step.
The step that leads me into the wilderness so to speak.
The step that takes me away from my comforts and my control.
What is the scary thing I’m facing?
Journal entry: July 2012: Pattaya, Thailand
“God, I love doing missions and I’ve loved Thailand.. But I promise to you I will never NEVER do another mission trip alone. Ever again.”
After 3 years, God has brought this statement I made to him back up. After reminding me of who I am, the change in my life, and the importance of my God sized dream, he’s given me my next step.
“After 5 months of leading you will go back to Thailand, alone, for 1 month. Then you will go to Indonesia, alone, for 1 month.”
And that’s it.
No planning.
No strategy.
My mission is simple and clear:
“Before you can fulfill your God-given dreams, you have to know what it looks like to only have me. You need to know what it’s like to completely depend on me and me alone. You need to learn to give up control and planning and walk in the spirit with your eyes on me, no distractions. You need to see how I make YOU able and how I give YOU authority. And you need to see these things before I start making your dreams come true.
Because the school you want to start won’t come together like you expect it to.
Because the journey may be lonely at times.
Because even when I give you a husband, he won’t fulfill your life the way I will.
Because you don’t need to find your purpose in what you do or who you surround yourself with.
And when you’ve learned first hand that I AM enough for you, it will make these future life struggles way easier to walk through because you’ll know from experience that I bring joy, contentment, peace, and life. You’ll know that those are my gifts to you that you can request at any time. You’ll know how to seek these gifts instantaneously.
But first you have to allow yourself to learn this by experiencing it first hand.”
Like I said, I’ve been praying dangerous prayers lately.
Am I terrified?
For sure!
Am I doubtful?
I’d be lying if I said I had no doubts.
Am I going to do it anyways, willingly and excited to go on an adventure with God where he’s PROMISED to show up?!
YOU BETCHA!
Yes, I’m excited for what will happen after squad leading, but I know God is going to use these next 5 months as preparation and confirmation for the journey that is ahead.
#GloriaDios
Sent from my iPhone
