A few weeks ago my team went cliff jumping in lake Malawi off a 20 foot cliff.
We climbed up.
We looked over the edge.
You could feel a sense of danger at the thought of jumping.
“How deep is it down there?”
“Are there any rocks at the bottom?”
“How safe is this?”
And then you decide to just go for it and jump.
I’m nearing the end of month 6 and the talk of “after the race plans” is a constant subject amongst the team and the squad.
A lot of people have huge dreams and plans for after the race anywhere from moving to another country or squad leading to opening a coffee shop/bike shop or starting a food truck business.
Huge dreams.
Then I stop to think….”what do I want to do?”
I’ve always had desires for my future. In high school I was looking forward to college. In college I was looking forward to summer mission trips. Senior year I was looking forward to the World Race. And now?… Nothing. I don’t have a huge desire to do anything.
I know I want adventure.
I know I want to do something purposeful.
I know whatever I do I want to do it with a community of people.
But as for what I actually want to do… Nothing. No direction. No ideas that stick. No passion to do any of the things I thought of doing after the race.
For a while I thought I just need to trust God better. I’m freaking out because I don’t know what I’m going to do… I just need to trust him more. Maybe he isn’t telling me because I don’t trust him enough to do what he wants.
I shared this with one of my friends in the squad who is going through the same thing and I realized some pretty amazing things.
I trust God more than I think I do.
The kind of trust I’m having now is like cliff jumping blindfolded.
Sometimes God leads us up a cliff and shows us what’s ahead of us. Sometimes we’re scared to jump and it takes a minute, but then we jump.
This kind of trust is more of God leading me up a cliff blindfolded and telling me to jump. I don’t see what I’m jumping into. I can’t plan where I’m going to jump. I can’t weigh my options. I have no idea how far I’m going or what’s at the bottom. I just have to jump.
I’m not sure how long I’ll be climbing this cliff before God asks me to jump.
I’m not sure if he’ll take the blindfold off when I jump.
But that’s where I am now, climbing a cliff blindfolded, listening to the voice of my best friend who has incredible plans for me beyond understanding.
He’s not blindfolding me to punish me. He’s blindfolding me because if I see how high he’s taking me I could get scared and back out. Or when I get to the top I could say “I did that all on my own” and not give any glory to God. Or I could try and change the path he’s leading me up and take my own way up.
Then I think of bungee jumping last month.
I looked over the edge, terrified, but I finally jumped.
This time God is showing me my trust in him has grown by not telling me a thing.
I don’t need to know what job I’ll have.
I don’t need to know what church I’ll go to.
I don’t need to know where I’ll live.
I don’t need to know who I’ll live with.
I don’t need to know these things because I already know the God of the universe is right next to me, leading me up to a beautiful cliff and will jump with me wherever I end up.
And that’s the beauty in cliff jumping blindfolded.
Sent from my iPhone
