“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” –Psalm 139:13-14
When I first found out that we were working with orphans with special needs in India, I was excited, but also a little nervous. I was nervous because sometimes when I saw or thought about kids with special needs especially ones with severe disabilities, I felt sad, confused, and hopeless for them. I felt this way because I haven’t had a lot of experience with kids with special needs. I love seeing learning and growth; desires, goals, and passion, and I felt like that’s part of what makes life, life. But sometimes when I’d see kids with severe disabilities, I’d see them appear to be just sitting there aimlessly in what people sometimes refer to as a “vegetable state”. I knew that even kids with severe disabilities most-likely still have some growth, but I was wondering if it was really a “significant” amount of growth. I’d think to myself, “Why?” “What kind of life is do they have really?” “I don’t understand why this person has that type of body and others have ones that work ‘properly’?” I know that sometimes people feel the same way with elderly people that may get to this state, but to me it’s not as sad because they usually already lived a good long life.
It’s interesting because I actually took four grad-courses in special education last year, so you’d think that I’d be among the more “qualified” and excited to work with these kids. But the classes mostly involved book work and not interaction with kids with special needs. The classes seemed rather specialized too like one focused just on assistive technology that kids with special needs use and another focused just on transitioning young adults with special needs from high school to adult life. I took these classes not because I wanted to be a special education teacher, but because I wanted to be a better-rounded general elementary teacher to serve all the students I may have and also to help me get a job.
So before starting our ministry this month, I expressed my thoughts and concerns to my team leader. I told her that I was excited, but that I did have some feelings of sadness and confusion when thinking of kids with severe disabilities. I thought what she told me was profound, and it has helped me a lot. She shared with me something that someone shared with her because she used to feel the same way. She said that in our own human thinking, we think that certain “normal” abilities and capacities are superior to not having them or to having them function differently. But God created that person or that kid’s body, so most-likely to God they are perfect just the way He created them and the way that he has them for now. She said maybe they are the ones who are superior to God because they just “sit there” and accept, receive, and offer God’s love and don’t toil and strive unnecessarily as much. As I wrote above, it says in Psalm 139:13-14 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” God formed all of the kids with disabilities and knitted them together in their mothers’ womb. They are fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are God’s works! Hmm…did “my soul know this very well”? Obviously, not really. I still don’t fully understand why God makes some people with certain abilities and others without or with different ones, but I do know that God knows exactly why he created everyone the way that he did, and that gives me hope. Another thing that gives me hope is that the Bible mentions a lot about how His people are going to get new, glorified bodies in Heaven and that our bodies now are only temporary. Who am I to feel sadness, confusion, and hopelessness with what God created on/for earth and to make judgments on what abilities and capacities are superior or significant? I also know that God uses the weak to teach the strong. 1 Corinthians 1:27 “God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” There’s so much we can learn from kids with special needs. It’s really sad because I was reading online, and I can’t remember where I found it, but the percentage of women who abort unborn babies with disabilities is so high. It’s just really sad to think that many of the orphans here were given up because they had a disability- because of the way God created them- the parent(s) made the judgment that their child was inferior and unwanted. And it’s not just the ones with severe disabilities- one of the boys at one of the homes is really smart and speaks English one of the best out of any Indian that I’ve met so far and he sings “Jesus loves me”, but he appears to have a slight limp and maybe some other minor things.
That being said, I’ve really enjoyed working with the kids that we’re working with here. My team leader actually told me in front of our team that she’s been seeing how much I love working with the kids and am good with them and that I should consider being a special education teacher. I still don’t think that being a special education teacher is in my near-future, but maybe sometime in my future, but it was really nice to hear what she said considering my feelings and concerns at the beginning of the month.
So myself and 2 other of my teammates work with 5 boys in the morning for 3 hours. Four of the boys are around 8 years old and one boy is 4. Four of the boys have pretty severe cerebral palsy and the other boy is blind. We’re still working on learning their Indian names because they’re hard for us to remember, but we’ve been calling them by cute nick-names. I’m seeing that even though they have some intellectual disabilities, and they don’t communicate verbally (though they might communicate a couple words verbally in their language, but we just don’t understand it), even though they drool, wear diapers, can’t stand up on their own, and can’t walk, they each have their own soul and their own personality. They each have feelings, desires, goals, passions and are growing. Wasn’t that my definition of “life”? Take for instance, Swings, we’ve been calling him “Swings” because he loves to swing on the swing! He also loves to listen to music, and he always grabs Ipods and computers whenever they’re nearby. He will get up and crawl to them, and when we take it away from him, he cries and cries. Swings has the cutest smile and just the other day we walked by him because we were going out, and he got excited and smiled and pulled himself up all by himself holding unto a railing, so we’d pick him up. The cutest thing was last week- I was holding him in my arms and making kissing sounds at him and kissing his cheek and then he started to blow kisses back at me and smile. Or take “Patter”. Patter loves to tap his knee or my knee or pat my hand or hold my hand. The boys are just loving and like to just sit with us too. I just bought the boys a drum/tambourine, and they love it- one of them looks like he could be in a band. We’ve been praying and doing exercises with them too to strengthen and stretch their muscles so that they may be able to stand up and walk by themselves one day if God wants them to. They help me to remember that God can actually heal people that are blind and “lame”. We’ve heard a few stories at this home where they were told that the kids would never walk, and they now walk. Jesus loved the lame and the what the old Indian caste system would call “the least of these”.
Then, in the afternoon, my team and I do construction, but we’ve been doing it at a home for teenage to adult boys that are higher functioning and seem to have things like Autism, and the boys are always out interacting with us. I really enjoy it there. The boys are always so positive and interesting. The thing that strikes me the most is their willingness to help us with construction! Sometimes we have to supervise them or just not let them do certain things, but some of them are actually pretty good at construction, and even better than me. You can tell that they feel a sense of competency and pride when they help and contribute. Take for instance, “Security”. Security is a 22-year-old man who has Autism, and the home has given him the “Security Job”. Basically, he has the keys to some of the buildings and rooms that he opens and locks for everyone, and he greets everyone who enters.the main gate. But to Security, EVERYTHING is a security job. I know this because he says “Security Job! Security Job!” He greets us when we arrive and when we leave because it’s part of his “Security job!”. He helped me haul the big rocks and said “security job”. Every day we work there, he gets chai tea from the Indian women that work at the home, and he hands them out to each us as he chants “Security job, Security job”. I never knew that a security guard had so many jobs, but Security seriously loves his job! He owns that job. He helps us with construction the most, and he actually has a really strong body for construction. If I ever need help with something, I just say “Security!” and Security comes willingly to help me. I’ve titled this blog “Security! Security!” because he reminds me of how loving, helpful, willing, and able the boys with “disabilities” here are. So my challenge to you is to remember to try to seek not to judge (God is the ultimate judge, and you’ll be judged in the way you judge others (Matthew 7:1-2)., but seek to try to understand more and see if you get more compassion and insight for kids/people with disabilities and people in general.
"Security" on the left and "Deputy" on the right.
Me with the boys that I work with in the morning, I had just bought them that drum/tambourine, so they seem to be looking at it!
"Swings"' cute smile!
