Two years ago:
I sat at my computer looking at the world race website and thinking that it sounded like the trip of a lifetime, but then glancing at the cost of the trip and quickly dismissing the idea, believing that I could never raise that amount.
Two years later:
I sat at my computer looking at the world race website and thinking that it sounded like the trip of a lifetime, then glancing at the cost of the trip and quickly saying, “Lord, I really want to do this, and if you really want me to do this then make it really clear to me and I won’t even worry about the money.”
What changed?
My relationship with Jesus. Two years ago I was just beginning to really pursue a relationship with Jesus that wasn’t limited to Sunday mornings and bible studies.
My Heart. For years I had known about God, but never really knew Him in a way that was real, that was tangible, and that wasn’t just head knowledge. I began to pursue Him and found out that he had been pursuing me all along, that through circumstances, trials, joy and pain, He had been calling me to Himself and wanting to know me deeper than anyone has ever tried to know me.
My faith. Where was I putting my faith all these years? In myself or in Jesus? I began to examine this question in depth and realized that I’d been trusting in my own abilities to do things for far too long and that it was time to put all my trust in Jesus..I can’t raise 15,500 dollars in my own strength, but through Jesus I can do all things. Because he is Jehovah Jireh, the LORD will provide.
My desires. These last two years God has been giving me a heart of compassion for those that are held captive in bondage, for those who are afflicted with illness, and those who are walking dead in darkness. In Mathew 10:10 Jesus says, “Raise the dead, Heal the sick, Cast out demons. Freely you have received so freely give.” My desire is to see those things happen in my life and in the lives of others.
My control. For years I had wrestled with God about my future. I thought I knew what was best for me and what would make me happy. I always thought that if I surrendered my will to his than I’d end up doing something that I didn’t really want to do and wasn’t going to be happy. (Yes, I really thought that.) But that isn’t what the bible says. The bible says that God has plans to prosper me, to give me a hope and future, to give me good things and not harm me, to give me the desires of my heart. I was believing a lie, a lie that had me fighting to not loosen my grip on my life, but Jesus said, “Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” So I let go.
My Plans. I was heading down a path that I whole-heartedly believed that God wanted me to go down. It didn’t seem like a bad path, I would be serving God so it couldn’t be wrong. But God began to shake some things up and then before I knew it I was being redirected to the path of the World Race.
Today:
I’m learning to love Jesus more and more, to trust Him to provide for me on this trip, to seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness, and to be ready to stand firm against all the fiery darts that the enemy tries to throw at me.
