If there is one thing I do not like, it is change. I like my familiarity. I like being comfortable. I like having a plan and going by that plan. I would rather crawl up and hide myself away rather than face changes. But if this past year has taught me anything, it would be to EMBRACE CHANGE.
In the past, change would cause so much anxiety in my life. All events people go through in life that are for the most part normal from changing schools, changing friends here and there, break ups, college, job plans were not as easy as they could have been. I resist change which makes it ten times harder to accept things in life when a new season rolls around. Sometimes these changes would mess with my mind so much that I would have full blown panic attacks. The two worst times were during sophomore year of high school and junior year of college. I just couldn’t seem to shake the anxiety that I felt like was taking over my life because life decided to take a different route.
But Change is inevitable. It is going to happen. Some change is good and some change is bad. And I have been trying my best to learn how to handle change gracefully and then this past year happened. I had my life planned out until God decided to do a 180 in my life.
I know God has been working in my heart about this lately because I have faced more changes in this past year then I have in my entire life probably. I have had a change into a new independent and single life, with that life came a new house with new bills. I have a new dog who is crazy hyper. I faced changes with my job and new responsibilities there, changes within my church family. I said goodbye to my grandmother this past year. Along with all that I have changed over this past year into a better and stronger person.
It hasn’t been easy. There are days when I just question God, “Why?” There have been days when I just wanted to throw my hands up and give up. There have been days when I have felt like I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. There are days when my anxiety takes over and I worry myself to death. There were times when I felt overwhelmed. But each step of the way, God keeps me nudging me, “You can do this, Holly. I have gone before you and I will carry you if I have too. I know you do not like change, but trust me.”
I could have let the changes of this past year destroy me, make me bitter, or turn me away from God. But instead, I decided to trust God and be patient. There were really good changes this year, but also some changes I did not like, but whether good or bad, I decided to have a positive outlook on them and Embrace them. It has been the best decision because I know God is in control and he has a plan.
When you turn things over to God, it’s amazing what can happen. I still have anxiety about change, but I have a newfound strength from God to embrace life when it comes my way.
A couple of years ago, I would not have went on the World Race because the thought of leaving my family, the comforts of home and traveling to 11 countries with a new family made me swell up with so much fear. But now I know God used this past year, to help me prepare for this next year. The race I am sure will involve a lot of changes and things I am not used to. It will call me out of my comfort zone and I am sure God will continue to challenge me in my weaknesses and new areas of my life. But I am leaving with a new outlook. Out with the old and in with the new. It is now time for me to stop trying to control my life and allow change to overtake me. In fact, that is my goal for this trip to come back changed for God’s glory.
Life does not always go as we plan. Things happen good and bad, but how we handle those changes determines our destiny.
