Project Searchlight (PSL) has been great so far and I’m honestly surprised this is the last day.
PSL is for the Racers who launched a year ago who are now alumni so we can come together to reflect, celebrate, step forward, and follow-up together!
All great things.
Preface
You see, on the Race I walked through a lot of forgiveness with my dad. I found confidence in learning, knowing, and believing who I am in Christ.
I saw my dad for the second time since returning home in November on Monday afternoon.
I found myself looking across the table at a stranger. A man, I once thought I knew, who has dramatically deteriorated from a disease called Alzheimer’s.
I left dinner and drove my dad home.
I pulled out of the driveway and began to sob.
“Good Good Father” on the radio, tears streaming, voice breaking as I begin to cry out.
I have never heard my dad say he’s proud of me. I have never had a deep conversation with him. I have never felt able to talk about life with him.
And now, in the foreseeable future, I never will.
Tough pill to swallow.
Thursday night, at PSL, a woman named Rosie was sharing about her story with her dad and how she walked through forgiveness.
I sat there thinking, I’ve already done that twice.
She talked about finding their good qualities and praying for them.
Then she did something I didn’t see coming. She apologized on behalf of every mother in the room who hadn’t been what she was supposed to be.
She invited her husband up, and he did the same thing on behalf of the fathers.
I broke.
I cried and I cried loud and hard. I cried so hard I threw up and I kept crying. Randy and Dawnette, our squad coaches, and over half of my squad surrounded me, held me, and fought for me in prayer.
They spoke truth over me and to me.
They loved me.
I know that God is the perfect Father, and He is more than sufficient for me. He values me as His daughter. He is proud of me, and He isn’t done.
Now, I’m beginning the journey to move that knowledge from my mind to my heart.
If you are questioning whether to go to PSL, stop it.
God isn’t done with you. You need Him and the people you did your Race with. They know you, they love you, they are for you, and they are with you. There are more laps to take in life and deeper levels to get to with the Lord and your community. Keep going!
#squadaallday
