First of all, I never want my thoughts or growing pains to come across as complaints because I realize how blessed and fortunate I am to be where I am and to have the upbringing that I have. I never want you to look at these words and see another person crying victim.
When you uproot something, you have to dig down to the end of the roots, or else you will leave residual root and the plant has a greater chance of growing back.
Then when you go to plant something new in its place, the plant is at its most fragile state. It is so small, barely any roots holding it in the ground.
A misplaced foot or shovel full of dirt can smother it and destroy it, leaving it dead.
Depressing right? But aren’t all things like this?
When new life begins, it’s fragile.
I’m in a place of uprooting right now. With the Lord’s leading and direction, I am in the process of digging up the roots of feeling unwanted.
The roots are in a lack of attention from my dad and not necessarily feeling wanted by him. Please know that I love my dad and I have forgiven him for the past hurts, but that does not take away his place in my testimony and in my life. The surface level that shows its face is my desperate attempts to insert myself in conversations and people’s lives so they have to get to know me. I say desperate because in my heart, I’m trying too hard to get people and God to want to want me.
I’ll admit, I was a little discouraged when I started this process because I’ve come so far in a lot of areas with my identity and this felt like a setback even though I know now, that this does not negate what God has done in my life up to this point.
Anyways, back to plants.
So, I’m digging up these roots, replacing the lie plant with the truth plant, and now, there is all of this fresh soil surrounding this little sprout. Do you remember when I said earlier that plants are most likely to die in the early stages of their lives?
This one is no different.
I’m susceptible to lies from the enemy and allowing him to isolate me in my early stages of growth, which honestly sucks, but at least I know. This is the time where I have to be on my guard more than normal.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
I will not be overtaken. I will not be overcome. Even though I’m struggling right now, I know that the fight will be worth it. I will not give up.
Micah 7:8 says, “Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.”
Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
So, if you’re in a similar place, don’t give up! You are not alone my friend! And if you’re not in a place like, fight with and for those who are, and when you do come into a season of new planting, don’t lose heart!
I know in Christ, I am victorious and He has given me the victory.
