In October of 2012, I awoke in my bed at around 3:30 AM on Friday, October 5th, to the smell of smoke.
I called my mom because for some reason that made sense. My mother, being the sensible person she is, told me to hang up and call 911, which I did.
As I was on the phone with the 911 dispatcher, she began prompting me of what to do. I stayed very calm throughout this, probably because I realized freaking out would get me no where.
Anyways, I checked the first door in my apartment to find fire from the floor to the ceiling, expanding beyond the dimensions of my door frame. So I closed the door, reiterated what I saw to the dispatcher, and headed for the back door.
When I got to the back door, I saw huge clouds of black smoke billowing in and filling the room. So I made the executive decision to not even open that door, and to walk back to the front window where I saw my neighbor, a medic, and two police officers.
The medic on the ground had me grab my keys and throw them down to him. At this point I had hung up with/on the dispatcher, and I asked one of the officers to catch my phone and chucked it off the roof.
She caught it. I was struggling to breathe, and they instructed me to climb onto my roof ledge, which I did, and I awaited my rescue.
The fire department arrived and got me down the ladder. The medic checked my breathing, and I was released.
What does this have to do with now?
This event in my life had some PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) side effects come with it.
I used to panic when I heard smoke detectors.
I tense up if the smell of smoke wakes me up and I panic.
Large fires can freak me out.
Today, in Costa Rica, I was asked to manage distribution of tools, and to construct and manage a burn pile.
As you might guess, I was rather nervous about having to work with fire.
As I got the fire going, I realized that I was having anxiety problems and legitimately afraid of this fire and feeling trapped by it.
I started thinking about this and the roots of it, which I know already, and I asked God what He was trying to teach me.
He started to show me the fear that I had taken on and how He didn’t want me to be afraid. He showed me He can set me free from PTSD.
As I looked to Him more, He began to reveal to me that I will be leaving this struggle in Costa Rica. As I go further into my time here, I will no longer be a slave to fear.
What’s your fear? What are you enslaved to? Are you willing to give it up to enter into a deeper level of intimacy with the Father?
I’m ready, and hope you’ll take this journey of fearlessness and victory with me.
2 Timothy 1:7 NASB For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.
Galatians 5:1 NASB It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.
Once again, thank you for journeying with me as I travel the world, tell people about Jesus, and learn more about God and myself.
Without my financial supporters and prayer supporters, I would not be able to be here. Words could not possibly provide and accurate account of how thankful I am, but thank you all the same.
Prayer requests:
Less than $1200 from being fully funded, needed by April 30th.
Michelle’s recovery from surgery.
I would use my abilities that the Lord has given me, especially my musical gifts with worship.
