I love waterfalls. I love the intensity of the crashing
river and the beauty of the moving water in its array of shifting color. When
you are stuck in the desert and water is your highest priority, a waterfall
sounds incredible.
This past month I lived at an orphanage in the desert (our “front yard” pictured left) in the
poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. And
yet, I am ashamed to say, I felt no passion in my heart for the people of Goniaves, Haiti.
I found myself almost avoiding the orphans for the beginning of our time and
could not understand it. Why can I weep and pray for four street children in San Juan but cannot even
bring myself to play with the orphans of Goniaves? This senseless inconsistency
is disturbing to me and I cannot seem to understand it.
I came logically to several conclusions, but my intuition
continued to cause discomfort within me. Though there may be logical reasoning
behind my avoidance of freely distributing my time and energy to these children
(recall our formal ministry was construction and we simply lived at an
orphanage), I cannot help but believe that Jesus would not withhold love from
children because of formalities. In fact, I believe He would reject them
entirely and radically love however painful or draining it might be.
As I ponder the love of Christ, I see that on several
occasions He chose love. This is because love is a choice. It is not a feeling
or emotion, but a choice to put someone else above yourself and demonstrate
care toward them as a result.
I did not choose to love the children initially for any
number of excuses I gave myself. I have heard love as a choice being attributed
to the love between a husband and wife, but never could I have foreseen the
need to choose to love orphans. To choose that despite the ache that comes from
leaving them at the end of the month or the burdens you must bear with them
because of love – we must always choose to love. Even if it costs my time,
energy and space I must choose to love.
We love because He first loved us.
You can choose not to love the people in your life because
it’s difficult to do so. The people who drain your time and energy may never
have anything to offer but malice and resentment. You may never receive from
them what you pour out.
The plan and simple truth is that others cannot possibly
fill what you have poured, even if your love is reciprocated. When you choose
to love, you can only love from the source by which you are loved. Jesus Christ
is the only source that is a continual stream of living water, providing life
for our souls by His love. If, then, you pour this kind of love out only He can
replenish it. He is the only one who is able to do so.
Like a waterfall. Christ pours into us like a river pours
into a waterfall. If we hoard His love, we become a lake and the water does not
reach the lands it should. We do not live out the purpose God has given to love
freely all people. If instead we choose to release His love to flow out of us
and into another, the life giving water of Jesus replenishes and gives life to
many. And though this outpour is violent and empties us the roaring river above
persistently refills it. In order to continue the beauty of the crashing water
that is a waterfall it must be released and constantly refilled. Likewise we
must be relentlessly empty ourselves of God’s love, distribute it to others,
and equally be filled with His love alone.
I urge you, do not miss your chance to choose to love. I
chose not to love until the end of our time, and I regret the missed
opportunity.
I have been pondering a parable regarding the Kingdom of God because of this. Jesus says that
when you have a party, you do not invite the wealthy that they might in due
time repay you. Instead, invite the poorest of the poor knowing they could
never repay the gesture. In the same way, the Kingdom of God
and Christ followers (Kingdom bearers) must freely love everyone. Perhaps
especially those who cannot love us back or will not choose to do so. Because
the Kingdom of God is upside down and makes no earthly
sense. We love because He first loved us.
If I have one great regret when reflecting upon Haiti I must
conclude I did not choose to love soon enough. I did not choose to love my
teammates in the way Christ calls by sacrifice, service and selflessness. I did
not choose to love the children for fear of exhaustion and another broken
heart. Consequently, I regret the moments I could have held them, teased them,
sing and pray over them and simply be with them. They are beautiful of the Lord
and so is the one it is difficult for you to love.
Let’s choose to be radical lovers in the name of Jesus.
