As many of you know, I have been home about 3 weeks and well
my mind is racing. I hear all
kinds of voices….voices that say get it together woman, get a good job, be
smart and safe….get a job that will secure your future, then voices that say,
you don’t have to worry, combat with the voices that say you are no good, you
are silly for thinking that you have changed….all these DAMN voices STOP!!!
Then there is
quiet whisper, one that doesn’t make any sense but it seems to woo me. It is a calm soothing whisper that is
not loud but just enough to be heard…if I was listening for it. This whisper is telling me to do
something totally different than the world is telling me…its saying have faith,
follow your heart, I gave you desires for a reason and will use you. Its telling me the voices of this world
are big and boisterous but have no heart behind them. It is saying, STOP and wait on me….its saying….you’ll never
be satisfied until you hear what I have to say. …as I explain my heart to my friends and family, I think
“this doesn’t make sense…but really does it?” I mean is that not what faith is about?? To keep praising God even when everything
is going wrong…in the world’s eyes….to bring kingdom to those who do not know the
truth…even when it is not safe in the world’s eyes…..to go and heal the
sick…even when it is not convenient….to lead hearts closer to Jesus,….even when
it is not a “good job?”
Lord, I want to serve you even when the voices in my head
are telling me to worry, to get a good job, to make money, and love the
world….where is the line of responsibility drawn and yet where does faith step
in??
