Frustration is a powerful weapon. It can be used to tear down kingdoms or build up the Kingdom. This week I have learned the difference of the two.
So we woke up on this beautiful Sunday, excited have an off day. Off day consisting of chilling at Starbucks, talking with family and friends from home, and just seeing the sight. After getting my beautifully made Carmel Frappe I proceeded to video chat with my mom on FaceTime. With the internet being sketch, the feed was really choppy. My mom was able to hear me but I couldn't hear anything she said. I asked her to talk slowly but it made her sound like a retarded Fat Albert (kinda funny). I was still unable to make out what she said. And then it ended…I called back, same story.
Get connected, choppy, and then lose connection.
Honestly, it was not really that big of a deal just a little annoying. I would have liked to have talked with her, but it's whatever. I will have another chance tomorrow.
So my squad mate and I decided to go do some shopping. I have really been looking forward to buying a Wayne Rooney soccer jersey on the low low (cheap). If you don't know who he is, he is one of the best players in the world and everyone here says I look like him. They actually call me Rooney instead of my real name. (Deep down, i like this. [don't tell anyone])
Anyways, I needed to stop by an ATM to get some cash out. I got to the ATM, put my card in, didn't work, and then it spit it out. I thought it was just a small error so I tried again… same story. This time I left my card in the slot while reading what the screen said. The ATM then made the decision to eat my card and not give it back. I'm still not really sure what happened, but standing there, sweating horribly because of how insanely hot it was, I realized this machine will not give my card back. Did I mention the bank was closed due to a Malaysian holiday? Asking a local that was standing next to me what I should do, he told me that I would have to come back Tuesday (two days later) when they are open. Now I'm pissed. My personal debit card is stuck in a machine with no way to get it until tuesday. And who says I will be able to get it back anyways? What if it decides to spit it out and a random grabs it? I have all these thoughts running through my mind and each thought is feeding my frustration. Did I mention that I have to take a deuce (poop)? (typical Heith. I know, too much info)
So leaving the bank, we went to a restaurant so I could use the restroom. I walked into the restroom and I encountered a squatty potty. For those of you that don't know what that is, it's basically a hole in the ground. This would be my first experience with one. This experience was frustrating. I would imagine that it's kinda easy to use while wearing shorts or something like that, but I decided to rock my skinny jeans today. Great. So long story short, I positioned myself awkwardly so I didn't land on myself. Feeling like Kobe in the 4th quarter (I made it in the hole), I proceeded in spraying, washed my hands and I'm out. (Notice I said spray, they don't flush toilets here.)
Anyways, I was walking out of the bathroom wanting to punch a wall and YELLING in my head, "Im so freaking mad. I couldn't talk to my mom, the ATM ate my card, and I almost pooped on myself." Honestly, I had some cuss words floating around in there also.
After thinking these thoughts God instantly reminded me of "Be angry and sin not." (Ephesians 4.26) And I begin to calm down.
Today, I felt selfish frustration, but this week I experienced Godly frustration.
Our ministry this week has been going to the hospital and praying with some very precious people. We have had mainly kids, but a couple of adults. These kids broke my heart.
This is Glory. She is a straight up angel but she is very sick. She has fluid in her lungs, two holes in her heart, and she has a mental disorder. Talking with one of the women who has been praying with Glory, she tells me that the doctors told her that Glory has no hope. I would pay anything to see my face in that moment. It was like a bonfire ignited in the middle of my chest. I was angry. I was angry at what the doctor said. I was angry that Glory had to go through this. I was so angry that it pushed me to do something about it. After talking with this elderly lady, I gave her one of my bracelets that was from a Jesus Culture concert that said, "Hope is Alive." This gave her the encouragement to continue pushing and together we fought for her. We prayed our hearts out in order to fill Glory's heart.
This is Danny. He has Dengue Fever and also has a mental disorder. After praying with others we got to his bed to pray. Standing at the foot of his bed, I watched one of his relatives cry because she didn't know what would happen to him. Anger began to rise as I thought of how this little boy doesn't deserve this sickness and this women shouldn't be experiencing something like this. As I was watching her, my buddy Brian leaned over and said He felt that we should pray deeper for him today. So with this angry passion in my heart, we began to fight for his life. I held his hand and started pouring out everything I had on this kid. We weren't content with a 20 second prayer. We dug deep. Honestly didn't get to pray as long as we wanted but still, we fought for him. We got angry and did something about it.
I shared the mall and hospital story to show you two types of anger.
-The first was flesh anger. Very dangerous. It can harm others or myself in horrible ways and is kinda stupid when you think about it. If I do anything with it, nothing good will come from it. This type I give to God and He returns peace.
-The second was righteous anger, Gods anger. This is very dangerous also but in a holy way. It's what pushes us to do something about this dark and evil world. If I don't do anything with it, nothing good will come from it. This anger I give to God and in return, He gives me passion.
After reading this, I hope that you will choose wisely where you distribute your anger. If stumping your toe causes you to throw a fit, but reading about little kids being sold into sex slavery does nothing for you, then you have a problem. How long will we sit here and do nothing about this evil? Let this anger for justice cause you to do something about it.
On another note, a lot of people get mad at God for allowing this stuff to happen. I can't explain why He does, but you have to know that He is able to walk on top of this pain and heal. We question Him on why He doesn't do anything about it, but I fear He would ask us the same thing. Why be mad at God when He is the only one who can change it?
Let us rise up with our freedom and spread it to this hurting world.
