Adventures WorldRace SethBarnes Sponsorship Giving

| by archiveworldraceblogs

No, this is not another blog post asking for money

                                but it’s about money

Well really, it’s about love.

For those of you who don’t know, last fall before I decided to go on the World Race, I applied to graduate school for social work. By the time I left for the World Race, I narrowed down my schools of choice to Washington University in St. Louis and the University of Michigan. Upon my leaving the country, I quickly realized the desire of my heart was to be home in Michigan, close to family. I thought the logical thing to do , though-the responsible thing to do-would be to keep my options open. So  I decided that if I received more scholarship money to U of M I would go there. And I was confident that is exactly what would happen.

It didn’t.

I have been rejected for both graduate assistantships and both scholarships I applied for at U of M. I’ve jokingly nicknamed my Mom the “bearer of bad news” from all the emails she has been sending me notifying me of the rejection letters she’s been receiving in the mail.
It’s been a humbling experience, to say the least. I’m not used to this kind of rejection. I had myself completely convinced the assistantships and scholarships were mine (yes, God’s working on some pride issues).
 
While we were in Nairobi, in the middle of my receiving notifications of rejection, I had a scholarship interview with Wash U. A few days ago I opened my email and found out I received a $40,000 scholarship to their program. I cried.

And let me tell you: they weren’t tears of joy.

I didn’t understand why God was sending me back to St. Louis. The two years I was there were two of the hardest years of my life. Everything felt like a struggle. From work, to community,  to finding a church home, nothing was easy. Nothing ever fell into place. So I asked, “Why God, why are you sending me back to St. Louis when my heart’s desire is to be home? When my heart’s desire is U of M? Why have you given me this desire if you’re making me to go to St. Louis?”

And for a couple days, God was silent.