This one’s better late than never. Here are my top 30 – 10 for each month in Africa. The first two months were spent in Malawi and the last month was spent in South Africa.
1. Teaching Africans to make tacos includes the improvised ingredients of cabbage and gouda cheese – luckily they don’t know the difference.
2. Your running partners are four year old African boys, and they can beat you barefoot
3. Your teammate brings Febreeze on the bus ride to mask the lovely fish smell.
4. There is a high chance you may be sitting next to a live chicken on said bus.
5. Chitenjes are the new ShamWow – a piece of brightly colored cloth that may be used as a skirt, baby carrier, apron, beach towel or bed sheet.
6. When walking to a ministry site and your translator tells you that you’re almost there, expect at least five more miles.
7. You are allowed to speak about Jesus in public schools and you witness dozens of kids accept Christ in front of your eyes.
8. As mzungus (white people) we seem to provoke a reaction of either laughter and pointing or crying in terror by small children who have never seen whites.
9. You don’t bat an eye at grown men walking down the street holding hands (a cultural sign of friendship).
10. Church members literally give up their beds for the month and sleep on the floor so that you may use them. You have never felt such Christian love!
11. Who needs Krispy Kreme when you can have mandazi – fried little dough balls sold on the streets for about a nickel each.
12. You must pay to be a guest at a friend’s bridal shower, and you learn the morning of the event that it’s your job to literally shower the couple with money. Luckily the exchange rate is 150:1.
13. Goat and samosas make an excellent Thanksgiving dinner.
14. When doing house visits and passing a compound that is normally locked up 24/7, God provides an opportunity at the exact right time for workers to be opening the gate and for you to speak and minister to a young Jahovah’s Witness couple from the States who live there.
15. Obama jeans, dresses, backpacks, lunch boxes, belt buckles, shoes, candy, jerseys and hats are all readily available for purchase at every street corner.
16. Rice and beans are not only served as a main course, but the next day as lunch leftovers – in the form of sandwiches.
17. Forget ibuprofen. Feeling sick? Drink a Coke.
18. White elephant Christmas gifts between teammates include earplugs, a concert poster from the Dominican Republic, dental floss and Crystal Light packets.
19. Spiritual warfare has never felt so real as when you’re living next door to a mosque. Thankfully, you seize the opportunity to help your contacts be a light in the darkness.
20. African women both love and openly mock your attempts to fit into the cultural style of dress – especially when it comes to headwraps.
21. A proper Christian greeting is, “Up up Jesus!” to which you should expect the reply, “Down down Devil!”
22. It’s perfectly normal to ask guests over for a barbeque where they are expected to kill and prepare the night’s main course.
23. A toy horse made out of sticks and a Coca-Cola can by a 7-year old missionary kid is a better Christmas gift than any you would’ve received at home.
24. You see an African boy wearing a t-shirt with your high shool’s name and logo – the world really is that small! Of course he has no idea why you’re so excited about it and starts trying to sell it to you.
25. Children who are HIV+ or who have family members afflicted by the disease tell you about it like they’re talking about the weather. It’s that normal to them.
26. When it’s your third month in Africa, South Africa may just as well be called the Promised Land.
27. Having something from every food group on your dinner plate is the best thing you’ve seen in months (although a close second is simply NOT seeing rice)!
28. Listening to a blind man sing “Amazing Grace” in a summer camp talent show can move you to tears.
29. Having your own room, even for just a few nights, can feel like a 5-star resort on the race.
30. You would’ve never guessed that the land you once both revered and feared would be so hard to leave. You’re amazed at how God is moving in Africa!
