Sitting in a room filled with people, yet not feeling connected to any of them is an awkward feeling. It’s hard to pinpoint what the emotion is. You don’t know if it’s that loneliness in the midst of a crowd feeling or more the fact that you are worried about what people think about your obvious isolation within a group. I contemplated that feeling the other night sitting in a session. I came back from a meeting to get ready to start a session and there were no open seats anywhere, so I found myself a place in the corner and proceeded to open my heart and mind to worship God. I initially did not notice the isolation. When I did, I was content to be that way. It didn’t truly bother me because I wanted to worship God at that moment and God is teaching me about contentment in who I am right now. It’s funny though. The longer I sat there and thought about, the more it started to bother me and the more isolated I began to feel. I learned a lesson that night about giving Satan a foothold. He took my thoughts that I should have turned over to God and proceeded to amplify them. I allowed myself to get upset. Then God came over and stirred my spirit. He asked me, ” Am I not enough? Don’t you know that you are never alone and that I love you more than anyone. Don’t you know that I am sitting right here beside you?” My mind filled with images of me standing with my Lord and His arms around me and my head on chest. I remembered then that God is with me. God showed me how he take something painful that Satan tries to use for my bad and turn it into something good. God teaches us through pain and hurt. Its not because He wants us to hurt, but we being stubborn only get to a point to realize He is enough when we feel like we have nothing. I just want to praise my God for His love and grace and for always being enough. As we prepare to move on to the next country, I go knowing that whatever comes, God will be enough. I am excited to see what He does.
