My time with the Lord has been a bit out of sorts recently. With everything going on around me, it seemed to be the first thing I let go of. Between work, my internship, planning my sisters wedding, and dealing with all that comes with life, I guess I just lost sight of my purpose and my passion. Sunday morning I woke up with an urgency to sprint into the arms of Jesus. So, I did just that. I sat on the back porch with the company of songbirds and my cat, Suki. As I began to read in Acts, I was reminded that the presence of the Holy Spirit was so heavily with Peter, Paul, John, Silas, and the rest of those preaching and teaching at that time. An overwhelming craving for the closeness they experienced came rushing into my heart, and I had to stop reading. I needed to write.
Writing is something I do to process. It is something I do when I pray. It is something I do when I don’t know what else there is to do. And in that moment, I didn’t know how to get that closeness with the Spirit but I knew that it was all I desired. So, I picked up my pen and journal and began to write.
“Let me just soak in you today, Jesus. Let’s go deeper than ever before. I want to know you intimately and with a closeness that far exceeds any other relationship I have ever had. Give me grace when I do not yield to the Spirit. May I find refreshing joy in your presence. Not happiness. JOY. Joy that doesn’t expire. Joy that doesn’t fall short when my world crumbles. Joy unspeakable in the presence of an Almighty God who loves me more fiercely than any other lover could.”
And so I prayed and sang songs in my heart with the birds around me and the soft breeze that gave me warm summer chills. I felt Jesus drawing near. It was more beautiful than words can describe. Even now, the thought brings tears to my eyes because of His tenderness. He never gets angry when I step away from him. He just waits patiently for me because he knows I will come back. It’s one of the things I love most about him. His patience with me.
Anyway, two hours later, I found myself in church singing my heart out the very words I prayed that morning! It’s like Jesus wrote the set list with me in mind. I like to think that he did just that. Israel Houghton’s “Your Presence Is Heaven To Me” and Hillsong’s “Oceans” were resounding through the hearts of my church family. I just stood there. Totally amazed at the tangible presence of the Holy Spirit. Utterly humbled by the generosity of the Lord to share such a sweet moment with me. Houghton’s song reminded me of Psalm 16:11, “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” I couldn’t help my clap and smile and sing at the top of my lungs because of the JOY that I know resides in his presence.
I also was reminded of James 4:8 which calls us to “draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” It’s as simple as that. He embraces us when we reach for him. Just as a child reaches toward his father for affirmation, love, peace and comfort and is met with a big embrace, we also can reach for Papa and he will meet us with an even bigger, lasting embrace. It is the joy in his presence that lingers still.
The difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is circumstantial and joy is perseverant. Joy sticks around, if we so choose it, through the valleys and the mountain tops. Joy and the presence of the one true God are so intricately connected. There cannot be one without the other.
Choose to actively draw near to God today and go deeper than ever before. Choose to reach for his joyful embrace. Choose to meet him today, and take part in the fullness that is found only in his presence.
