This morning I boarded a flight to Atlanta, GA. I knew saying goodbye would be hard, but I didn’t realize the mix of emotions leading up to this point would be such a struggle.
These past few weeks being home, I’ve had so many feels! I am definitely excited for this journey and the adventure it brings. Along with that, I have a whole lotta anxious nerves for all the unknown and insecurities. Honestly, there was a point earlier this week where I hoped that there would be some kind of act of nature that would cause me to defer this trip. I also asked myself if it was too late to back out.
Yesterday I prayed that God would use my nerves and fears for His glory. The thing is, fear has prevented me from taking leaps in the past. I had committed early on that this wouldn’t be one of those times! Thank you for all the support and encouragement. Seriously, the conversations and messages the past few days have kept me accountable and focused on the mission that is already in progress. If I decided to defer, God wouldn’t love me any less (and you all would probably still like me 
) but I would miss out on an incredible opportunity to grow and serve. I do believe there will be some really joyous moments on the race, but I also anticipate some really hard days – when I’m feeling discouraged or inadequate, sleep deprived or missing home.
A note to future racers: You will most likely experience many strong emotions leading up to launch. However, there is immense joy and life-giving Spirit in trusting God through it all.
In Ecclesiastes 3:11 it says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
I love the words, “He has also set eternity in the human heart.” It’s only natural to wonder about the future – immediate next steps and beyond. But I have no doubt that God has his hands over this trip and all it brings, just as he does for each of you reading this and each person I will meet along the way. This verse gives me confidence to keep going because I know that eternity with God (including this very moment) brings hope and joy unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. His timing in my life is perfect, even when it gets difficult or doesn’t make sense. I will never have all the answers and will probably falter a few more times along the way. But I am following a God whose plans are bigger than anything I could have ever dreamed or imagined.
