"The full flood of my life is not in bodily health, not in external happenings, not in seeing God's work succeed, but in the perfect understanding of God and in the communion with Him that Jesus himself had." -Oswald Chambers
I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. John 15:11
I must not forget: my God is unendingly trustworthy.
The Lord is always deserving of my worship.
The highest place is reserved for Him.
In the words of my dear friend Sam: He's got this.
Every moment of my life is held in His grace-filled hands and being woven together for His glory and my good.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7
My anxiety is not glorifying to God. Being wound so tightly that I feel like I'm going to snap at anyone at any given moment is not glorifying to Him. He's got this. I need to really really trust that at my core. I don't have to waste energy crunching all of the numbers and trying to be "on". My energy would be much better spent in communion with Him, allowing Him to embrace me and calm me instead of trying my hardest to wiggle away and prove myself capable.
I don't think God gives a rip about my capability and independence. It's probably far more important to Him that I be fully surrendered to Him, hanging on His every movement, lovestruck and fully in awe of who He is.
When I'm able to talk myself down from the cliff of self-sufficiency I've created in my head, this process is truly joy-filled and sweet. I'm able to really appreciate my mom and the hard work that she's put in already for my garage sale. I become truly humbled by the natural way she seems to share my World Race path with everyone she comes in contact with. I can be amazed by Spirit-led lunches and encouraging Facebook messages. Financial support from people seeking their own support funds can be something to marvel at and I remember to really notice the way that so many people that I love want to help me in so many big and small ways. When I stop thinking that I need to have it all together, I soften to be able to truly feel the joy and overwhelming awe that is the way God seems to move. I can release frustration and simply remember those three important words: He's got this.
