Coming on the world race we were told to expect change. Of course like I always do I firmly believed that our squad would be different from the other squads. We wouldn’t go through what other squads had gone through. I was way off. Not only has our squad learned to try to embrace change, but I have begun to learn to embrace it as well. In the last seven months we as a squad have changed so much.
It all started when we left for the race really. We all set off with who we thought we were. We came ready to be used by God but had no idea at the amount of change He would do through us by using this trip. For me the change started right away. Within a week of leaving for the trip I discovered 
that my granny wasn’t expected to live another day. After three heart attacks the doctors were not giving her long to live. In that moment, a world away from my family, I had to really learn what it looked like to praise Him in the storm. I learned to trust that He was enough for my family and to trust that He was enough for me. My granny was miraculously healed and will celebrate her 78th birthday on January 4. That month I also dealt with a lot of ugliness in my heart that I did not realize was there. Thanks to my teammates rebuking me where needed, I began to learn of things that god needed to change in me. Rebuke is something we need more of and I am so thankful that it began coming in the first month of the race. The change in me had only begun to take place.
Month two of Nicaragua was a month spent learning how to be a true friend. I learned the importance of what it really meant to be real and raw. The importance of challenging each other. I learned to bring it all to the table. Nicaragua was the beginning of beautiful friendships. Friendships that would help me move closer to Jesus. Help me begin to smell more like Jesus because they were not afraid to rebuke and encourage me. Girls can really take each other down, but once you realize to celebrate the good in each other, you really begin to realize how to love one another.
As time has gone on God has continued to develop so much personal growth in my life through the community I am living in, but this wouldn’t be the only change I would experience. At the beginning of month four we experienced what change meant. We started with sending our first family back to Nicaragua where she felt called to go. We then dove right into team changes. My leader tiffany moved up to become squad leader. We dissolved one team, which in turn put two new members on my team. Two days later we sent two more family members home unexpectedly, one of those being my teammate Taylor. Within 24 hours of hearing the news we were at the airport saying goodbye. It was a rough goodbye. They both meant a lot to our squad and I had personally gotten to spend a lot of time with both of them. At this point I didn’t see how things could get any worse. I had now lost two team members. The team that I had come so far with was no longer my team. I was struggling.
Change was still to come. William stepped in to lead our team and we became known as team In.Tent.City. We headed to debrief as a new team. Only to be changed once again. Three days into debrief we would find that William was called up to lead our squad with Tiffany. This would leave more team changes. Warren was moved to another team and we gained Scottie as our leader and A.J. as our new teammate. At this point my hands were up. I was waving my white fl
ag. I didn’t understand what God was doing but I knew if He was making this much change He had a reason. He began a new season of change in me through all of the physical changes.
I began to realize that my dependence was placed on those around me. He kept rocking my world and is continuing to change things. He wants me to fully depend on Him. He wants me to truly believe that He is enough. I thought He had me at a good lonely place, but I was so wrong. I hurt my knee pretty badly just a few days later and had to lay aside my stubbornness to except help from others. Which if any of you know me that is challenging for me, not to mention I was trying to hold onto my independence through all of this change. Just a few days after leaving debrief I lost one of my closest friends and teammate. This would make the fifth teammate to drop from our team. Tara took a fall and broke her pelvis while we were waiting to travel to Turkey. Really God? That was all I could say. I was upset. I didn’t understand why all of this change. Why our squad? Why my team? Why my friends? Never thought I would say this but through the trial of this lonely season and all of the change I have learned that change is the best thing ever. God uses change to change us. He began to draw me in. Over the past few months I have learned more than ever before to have a relationship with God. To really talk to him, ask him questions, lean on Him, and look to Him for direction.
My team continued on from Romania. We continued going through all the changes together. We were all in different places personally. All of the change had taken a toll on us. I continued to press on. I continued to ask God to show me what He wanted to teach me through this change. I was still suffering from my knee injury and was not fully over saying goodbye to Tara. God used my knee injury to slow me down. I was forced to sit around, so why not spend it with God. I couldn’t get around so I had a lot of down time. It was the best thing ever. God spoke to me so clearly. He continued to teach me about letting go of this world and becoming more intimate with Him. He wasn’t done making changes.
This is only a small glimpse at what God has changed in me these last seven months, but I wanted to share with you a little bit of what the Journey has looked like thus far. Pray that God will continue to change me everyday. Pray that He will lead through me and help me and my team develop a new idea of what it looks like to constantly pursue Him with everything we are. Pray for our family members that have gone home. (Rachel, Taylor, Megan, Tara, Haliee, Luke) Pray for our continued growth as a squad. Thank you for all your support and prayers.
