Happiness depends on happenings, but joy depends on Christ.
Joy runs deeper and stronger than happiness. It is the quiet assurance of God’s love and work in our lives. Joy happens when we are certain that He will be there for us no matter what. Joy comes when we relax and trust in Him for all the details of our journey.
Right now I feel like a child who has so much to look forward to. For example, I feel like : an elementary student on a Friday, where there is a holiday party in class, then a sleepover that night, then a relaxing Saturday, and then a big family dinner on Sunday, followed by a holiday on Monday and then my birthday on Tuesday. Imagine how excited you’d be if that was your schedule for the next few days. That’s how I feel most of the time, although I have absolutely no idea what next week will even bring! The only reason I am able to maintain this constant joy is because Christ gives it to me, He refills me with it every day.
I’ve been happy and joyful before, but not in this same way. I have especially noticed a change the past few weeks. I have been busting at the seams with joy, excitement, love and peace about each new day – all because of the Lord. This is probably the most unstable year of my life, and yet there is such a joy in the midst of all the unknowns because it forces me to pray more and simply trust.
Right now I am constantly growing in being unoffendable and at a place where I am purposely asking the Lord to change me in ways like He never has before. By letting go of any baggage and being willing to take a good hard look at the things I need to change instead of getting defensive, it creates an atmosphere where I can simply be honest and live in a new sense of freedom. I don’t have to have it all together or put on a pretty face for others. I can just be me. When I make a mistake – I say sorry and ask God to help me change. If I need to have a tough conversation with someone – I do and pray my way through it. And I keep moving forward. Life is so different when you stop worrying about what others might be thinking of you and you realize that you already have God’s grace. He knows none of us are perfect and He doesn’t hold it against us. He wants us to all live in this joyful freedom that only He can offer. By walking closer with Him and welcoming these changes : it brings pure, true, deep joy that can’t help but spill over onto others.
This joy overflows because He is constantly filling me with His love, acceptance, and reassurance of His plan for me. When I am filled with these things from Him, I can’t help but be joyful in the situation I am placed in. But just because I am joyful doesn’t mean bad things don’t happen or that I never get cranky. I’m human, of course I have bad days! Just the other day I found out that a child in Haiti that I loved so much had passed away. I sat and mourned his death for a while, but I was gently reminded that God is a God of justice.
Isaiah 13:11 says, “I will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins. I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless.”
It is okay for me to get upset and angry because of an innocent child’s death, but I refuse to dwell on it for too long. God doesn’t need me to hold a grudge against the person I believe is ultimately responsible for it. That is not my job, nor is it healthy for me to store that bitterness in my heart. I am confident that God will handle it. My job is to stay out of His way, and love people the way Jesus did – no matter what. Life is so much more joyful when I lay all of that ugly junk in my heart at His feet and let Him deal with things however He chooses.
At last debrief in Vietnam we were asked to write down things that described us in our past, and things that describe us now. I wrote down “lost, unwilling to change, and indifferent” as words that used to describe me. The words “purposed, changing, and joyful” were my new words. I wrote those words kind of casually, but these last few weeks I realized how much those new words actually do describe me.
In China, we are volunteering here – check out their website to see what they are all about. Also, “Like” their page on Facebook to read the most current news of what’s going on with the beautiful kids we have gotten to work with! This is by far one of the most awesome places I have ever seen. God is clearly working here & His presence is felt as soon as you step onto their grounds. Click here to read some of these children’s stories. They are AMAZING!
China is the country I was most excited for on the race…and I have to say that it has already exceeded my expectations! =)
Love,
Heather
Weird things eaten lately: corn ice cream (not as weird as it sounds…not as corn flavored as it sounds…pretty good actually!)
Specific prayer requests: health for my team (so many colds going around), the children in the foster home to continue to get healthier each and every day, for guidance for my squad leaders and the team leaders, for our past and future contacts in each country, that those we have encountered in the last 4 countries will see Christ’s love through us and seek Him, my teammates’ financial support continuing to flow in, that hardened hearts would continue to be softened by the Lord. =)
