To describe my first 7 months of the Race is very difficult. But it seems like that is the exact word I would use….difficult.
I have been physically sick more in the last 7 months than I have ever been in my entire life. It has been a mixture of mild illnesses and some more major. I've lost so much weight that my clothes are at least a few sizes too big. I feel like my immune system doesn't exist anymore.
I have also been struggling spiritually as well. I've had the recurring questions of "God, why am I always getting sick? What is it that You are trying to teach me in this? How am I supposed to go out and share Your love with the people when I can't even leave my tent?" And this is only a few of the many questions that have been coming up. I have felt so spiritually dry.
So here I am, at the end of month 7. I still don't have the answers to these questions. I am still seeking God and asking Him all of my questions. There are so many days where I just want to give up. But thankfully God knew all of this beforehand and placed me with an amazing team/squad and amazing family and friends back in the States.
I've had so many people tell me that steadfastness is one characteristic that I have. Some days I feel it, some days I don't. But it is something that I have to remember…to continue being steadfast in everything physically and spiritually.
Matt Papa recently released a new album. (if you haven't heard of him, check him out on iTunes….he has some amazing songs) One of the songs has been on repeat almost constantly the last couple months. Take a listen to it and really listen to the words. No matter what happens….I'm NOT giving up.
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord."
1 Corinthians 15:58
