As I hop into a small, crowded multi cab on the side of the road in Malaybalay, a small Filipino woman looks me in the eyes and exclaims, “It is too big!” Right away I knew that “it” meant me. Lesley and I burst with laughter and make jokes about how the big girl can’t fit and the sweet old lady laughs along with us.
This isn’t the first time that I’ve heard comments made about my weight on the Race. I could tell you countless stories that would have you rolling for hours about how many times I’ve been called fat since I’ve been on the field.
Okay, you want to hear one? This one is my favorite.
In Mozambique, Jena and I were buying bread for the teams lunch and our translator was buying bread for him and his wife. He showed us the bread that he bought and said, “I’m buying the big one for my wife!” Jena then asked him why he was buying a lot of bread for his wife, because “she thin, like me right Anton?” He laughed and said yes. I decided I would try to make him laugh even more and said, “Yeah, she’s skinny like me too, right?!” Anton laughs and says “No, no. You are very fat!” Laughter filled the air and jokes were made for the rest of the month about that one time that our translator told me I was very fat!
I always say that it’s a good thing I’m comfortable and confident in my skin, because if I wasn’t then I would have a really hard time on the Race.
The truth is that there are women who do have a really hard time being called fat.
There are women who hate the way they look every time they look in a mirror.
It pains me to watch the way that society degrades women who don’t look exactly like those “beautiful” Victoria’s Secret models. Confidence is stripped from overweight women each and every day because of the constant pressure to be thin and sexy.
Since being on the Race, God has revealed to me a journey with Him that I had no idea I was on.
I think it’s safe to say since I graduated high school I’ve gained at least 100 pounds. When I went to college my lifestyle changed, and I suffered the consequences. Gaining weight is easy, but it sure isn’t fun.
I was that girl who hated the way she looked.
I was that girl who wanted to fit into size 6 jeans, but couldn’t.
I was that girl with no confidence whatsoever.
That’s what this journey has been all about. This journey started the second that I started following God. When I started listening to the truths about myself straight from God himself I saw myself differently. I didn’t categorize myself as “the fat girl” anymore.
I see that I am beautiful.
I see that I am perfect in the eyes of the One who created me.
So, women of all shapes and sizes, overweight or underweight, I want to call you up.
In this moment I want to call you up in Christ and tell you how beautiful you are.
Rest in the sweet truth that you are exactly how your Father intended you to be.
Embrace the body that our Savior has entrusted you with.
My hope is that when people see me, they can see where the security in my body truly comes from. I pray that people can see that special glow of Christ shining all over me, and know that they can have that same glow.
I’m declaring that confidence is not a thing of the past, and that women in this world will see their true value and worth in Christ!
