Here I am, in my twenties, serving at church, working in fulltime ministry, and I have the most solid Christian community. Yet I still struggle. Back and forth like a tug of war. I have asked God questions like: “What’s wrong with me? Am I really even a Christian to be having this constant temptation?”
I’ve been there too many times with my head low. No self-control again. I became great at giving in. Once again I’m facing the same sin and I just want to throw in the towel. Living in guilt and being consumed with lies and selfishness… I give up on the idea that I can ever be like Christ.
In my best effort to live for God and do the right thing, there was a persistent, nagging, discouraging, disturbing gap between who God says I am and the way I’m living. There was a gap between what I was meant to feel and what I actually felt. I found it easier to believe what I say about God rather than what He says about me. I saw myself as a hypocrite. The problem was that I knew who He was, but I didn’t who I was.
Steven Furtick, Pastor at Elevation Church, said; “If you will protect your identity, God will direct your activity.” That means if you will focus on what He says who you are then He will lead you into doing everything He’s called you to do. If you go off thinking what other people think of you and who they say you are, then you’ll never discover what God has put inside of you. You have to relentlessly protect your identity moment-by-moment, word-by-word, and thought-by-thought.
For me, when I read John 8:12- “He (Jesus) is the light of the world”… that makes more sense than when Jesus says: “I (me) am the light of the world.” Or when I read 1 Peter 1:14-16, I get that He is holy, but me?! Paul says in Ephesians 1:3 that I have every spiritual blessing in heavenly places with Christ. Then why am I not living like it? I had to realize that it’s not that I don’t have it, God’s not a liar, it’s just that I’m not accessing it. When what God says isn’t matching up with how I’m living it’s just because the promise I need to access is in the Holy Spirit of God, who lives inside of me!
In 2 Peter 1:3-4 , Peter says that God has given us everything we need: “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.”
See, I had to learn that you can’t access it just once a week though we need it everyday. Read His Word and apply it. Focus on your relationship with God. Whatever you do, make Him part of it. When you have fun or just being quiet or whatever. Talk to Him and tell Him how much you love Him and appreciate what He is doing in you and through you. Psalms 139:17-18 says, “How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.” Take time to be still and ask the Lord what He says about you. I promise He will make you smile. It’s time to understand who you are in Christ because one of the main reasons we fall short is identity issues.
The affirmation of God over your life and the words He speaks about you have to become more real and more important than the lies you have learned to tell yourself. So, who are you listening to?
He was faithful when I was faithless.
He has lifted my shame.
He has turned pain into beauty.
He has broken every chain.
I am a new creation.
I am spotless and pure.
I am redeemed and made whole.
I am dearly loved.
I am a warrior for His Kingdom.
I am a son of the Most High.
I am drowning in His grace.
