I fight rest.
I just do.
It is because I was made to do.
And do and do.
But as I try to put the pieces of the puzzle of my life in place, I keep hearing from friends, mentors, and those who know me well to rest.
But I just did not want to.
That is, until Saturday morning. I woke up defeated and consumed in uncertainty. I finally realized that rest is not just something to do, but something to be. Thanks to "The Way of the Heart" by Henri Nouwen, I am slowly rebuilding some sort of structural entity to help me not just re-center, but re-focus on what and Who matters most.
So, a trip planned a few weeks ago to Arizona to visit with my Grandmother and extended family for the next week and a half has come at the perfect time. I leave this afternoon and I am not sure when I will be able to write again, but as I pack up, I realize that this time is giving me a chance to step back and away.
I have found in the past that stepping back and away from the day-to-day life I live has helped me gain a new perspective and center. I am looking forward to simply 'being' in the desert and being in God's presence. I am also looking forward to reading "The Personal MBA" (Kaufman), "The Way of the Heart" (Nouwen), "How to Change the World, Social Entrepreneurs and the Power of New Ideas" (Bornstein), and some of "The Complete Short Stories of Mark Twain."
Being away, alone, and in a quiet context has helped me in the past and while part of me knows I need to get a lot done in the area of organizing the non-profit, I cannot keep going like this. I cannot keep pushing ahead without long-term costs to my spiritual and physical health.
So, I am stepping back and away for a few days, but I am confident that I seek after God, He will, as always, surround and surprise me in ways I cannot imagine.
