It's odd to admit this, but after a month in Thailand, I feel distinctly older. I am not sure about wiser, but definitely more aware of people and the world around me.
I feel odd about this and I am not even sure how to explain it thoroughly. After talking about it with two of my squadmates, David and Jed, I am beginning to see that while the month in Phuket was draining on a physical level, it was also draining on the spiritual level. Yet, after our arrival in Nairobi yesterday, I am much more aptly aware that God is not only in control of this, but is guiding me through it. The anger I felt towards the injustices I witnessed in Phuket has now become a sadness that I cannot quite describe. I feel a bit hopeless about the women and lady-boys I met there, yet hopeful that they are more aware of their true worth.
And now, as I feel older, I also feel a different type of joy as God continues to change my heart for His people, regardless of the continent and the culture I find myself in.
As I sit in a hostel in Nairobi, I am thoroughly reminded of how even though I still long to explore this vast continent of Africa through safaris, raft trips, tours, and hikes–I am more interested in exploring the people. The way they live, what they value and love, their cultural norms, and quite simply–who they truly are.
The entire squad has this week to recoup and process through debriefing with the squad leaders and coaches. While it is a good time to process, it is also a good time for me to be alone and patient. Already, after spending a few hours thinking and reflecting, I am beginning to see through the struggles of the last few months and also into the coming joys and loves that are bound to be a part of the next three months in Africa. I look forward to writing more about what my team and I will be doing as soon as I find out, but realistically, I may be in the middle of nowhere in less than a week, so bare with me as this journey of love, life, and God continues.
