While riding on the back of a bus to town on Wednesday, a
tourist from New Zealand and I talked about our experiences in Thailand. After
learning about his love of Thai food and culture, I told him about the Race and
what I was doing in Phuket. He was curious and asked me if it was difficult to
talk to the girls. I told him that I was initially daunted, but this quickly
faded away when I was able to see through to their hearts. He gave me a
confused look, but I explained that when I talk with the girls, I am reminded
of the simple truth that we, as humans, are desperately in need of love.
This is ironic, because I think I was able to see through to
this in the girls because I really am desperate for love, as well. I used to
think that I did not need love, but I had been lying to myself for far too
long.
But really…who is not desperate for love? It may not be exemplified in outward words
and actions, but after the disconnect that occurred in the Garden of Eden, when
humans and God were last in complete community, I have a premonition that this
is when we first came to this state of desperation.
Sadly, as we try to fill the hole that this desperation
creates, it is common for us to ‘settle’ for anything but love in our lives. We
fill our lives with things, not people. We seek after entertainment, not
enjoyment. We allow ourselves to envy and wrestle with contentment. We want
more, but the little we have is more than enough. We consume without consulting
our conscious. We want time, but waste it. Money satisfies us temporarily when
what has real value walks past us without a backwards glance. We settle for a
night and not a lifetime, sex and not God, beauty and not one’s soul.
But if we were to be honest with ourselves-and with God-we
are desperately in need of a God, a Love, a Father, a Friend, a Brother, who
loves us as much as He loves the girls on Bangla Road, the girls in the safe
house in Cambodia, the children at the YMC orphanage, the Aboriginals in
Mossman, and the college students in New Zealand.
Even though I have only begun to recognize my desperation
for love, I have already felt a freedom to be the woman God created me to be.
In this freedom, I am beginning to believe the truths that God’s love is more
than enough for me and that despite my faults and failings, His love does not
fade nor is it based on my own self.
