A year ago, when I was at the verge of receiving my undergraduate diploma, I was lamenting to a friend about how I wanted to be where he was–on the threshold of receiving his graduate diploma. I must have sound pathetic because I vividly remember his playful scowl as he reminded me that he was 25 and I was 22 and not too many 22-year olds have a graduate degree. I remember laughing at this because it was an obvious reminder of how impatient I can be.
I could easily blame American society and how convenience is not only king, but something that people expect and think that they deserve. But really-really–it’s me. I want to be successful now. I want a family of friends now. I want a Ph.D. now. I want to be financially secure now. I want to be smarter now. I want to run a sub-3:30 marathon now. I want to speak 5 languages now. I want all of my fundraising to be done now.
I want, I want, I want…see a reoccurring theme here? ‘I’ is used here all too often as well as ‘now.’
Ultimately, it is neither about me nor is about my timing-even though I forget this on a daily basis.
With all this, I can see that God is teaching me a lesson in trust and also, in patience. I have heard the words “not yet” spoken to me quite a bit lately, be it subtly or in my face, as I read and re-read Ecclesiastes 3 and with the words of wisdom from friends and mentors, as well as from gazing into the lives of others who have both years and wisdom beyond my own.
