"I feel like Jesus is like my husband you know?"
Vomit.
This quote has induced sickening feelings for me for years. I try not to roll my eyes as I listen to girls and young women pour out their hearts about how God is working on them in their single season.
I mean how can one be single at the ripe old age of 19?! Really?!
Okay I know, I am 22, not much older…but that's not the point here.
You see, I feel like this is like a cop out for single girls. Like if I can't have a man, I'll just create this image of Jesus to be like my husband. And He will fulfill all my needs and make me whole and I will never need a man again cause like I have Jesus.
I wish that could happen for me….but again that's not where I am headed in this.
Let me take you back to my heathen years for a minute….
As a blossoming young woman, finding my footing in life, you could find my nose shoved in a cheesy romance book that didn't take much thought, but for a minute, would fill my little heart's desire.
What I lacked in social life, I made up in an imaginary world where a man pursued me relentlessly.
This man also happened to be rich and didn't mind spending his money on me.
Of course, me being the humble damsel, I would always insist I didn't need his money and I would make it on just his love. But this man would insist….insist I have the best. Even though I didn't find myself worth his splurges, he always made sure that I realized I was.
And my heart would melt. #swoonmuch
Fast forward…
I'm on the World Race, in month 8, still quit a distance from my fundraising goal. $3,500 to be exact.
I have been trying to rack my head on how I can get this money to come up.
Maybe I could like gamble or maybe like become famous all of a sudden. Maybe I should write One Direction and have them send me a small chunk of their fortune…I am a fan! #1D #bestsongever
But once I get my feet on the ground and my head at least on the first floor, I realize that this is all part of me avoiding what I really needed to do.
Trust God.
I mean yes I have to let people know where I am at, reach out to people and try not to seem so desperate, but God wants me to trust He will provide.
The other day sitting in church, God convicted me that I wasn't trusting. He also brought me back to my little desires for a man, but not like a real man. But like the Jesus man. When I was younger I swooned at the rich man in love with imaginary, better looking me.
But Jesus is in love with the real me…and guess what? He's rich too!
You know that famous verse we all quote but don't know exactly where the address is (its Psalm 50:10 by the way) : "For all the animals of the forest are mine, and I own the cattle on a thousand hills."
Yes I need $3,500 asap or I might be packing my bags back to good ol' U S of A before I wanted to…but I know that God has me.
I am trying to trust, trust that I will finish my race fully and with my squad!
I mean after all, I am betrothed to Jesus.
#imdatingJesus
Fundraising update (the exact amount I need):
| Gifts: | 12,001.52 | ||
| Expenses: | – 15,500.00 | ||
| Balance: | -3,498.48 |
(As of 8/8/2013) |
Please pray and consider helping me become fully funded! You can donate by click the Support Me link there on the left hand side menu!
Thanks!
Hannah
