On Friday I was emailed the donation summary of all the donations made to our World Race. We had decided it was time to reconnect with our donors and give a formal update about what God has been doing and how each donation blessed us in big, crazy ways. I scrolled through the spreadsheet and got excited to reach out to friends and family who helped on this journey. My heart swelled and I felt so loved.
Then it happened.
My eyes reached the top of the page and a donation I didn't remember being there the last time I checked jumped off the page and slapped me in the face.
$6,000.
Who did this?! When did this happen?!
Next to the amount was the word anonymous. And the date was after we had voluntarily left The World Race.
I was instantly nauseous and tears stung my eyes.
The room was spinning and I felt like I was going to pass out.
It was the exact amount we needed to make the deadline we had to make if we would have stayed.
The. Exact. Amount.
I had a phone date with one of my best friend scheduled just minutes after my discovery…
"Hi Rachy…"
Her ever bubbly voice responded,
"Hi Hanny! How are you?!"
Fighting back tears I answered,
"Well, I was good until I just found out we received a $6,000 donation from an anonymous donor…after we left the race. We really did screw everything up, didn't we?"
There was a pause and a deep breath. I could tell she was thinking.
"No. No you didn't. Actually I think this is really cool! Actually this gets me really excited!"
Really cool?! Excited?! wanted to scream at her…
She went on,
"Don't you see?! God knew you were leaving the race. He let this donation be made because he needed to show you something. He needed you to see that even when you're making a mess of things he still loves you so much. He loves you $6,000 worth and he loves you so much more. He's showing his faithfulness to you even when you're not faithful to him. He's pursuing you!"
Pursuing me? No way.
"Hannah, you have to see this donation for what it is. It's kingdom business and it's kingdom coming in you and Justin. It's a step on your journey. It's a lesson learned that's refining you for the next step and the next lesson. It's freedom coming alive in you. It's breaking chains. And I believe that this is God telling you he loves you…enough to give you such a precious gift after you had turned around and walked away from Him."
The called ended after many tears and much discussion. I tried to let her words sink in. I closed my eyes and let the last 9 months flash through my mind. I realized then that everything had led up to this moment. This donation was a culmination of the work that had been started in us. It was the bow on the gift we were given. It was like the gold metal at the end of the race.
That donation, even though noticed months later, moved mountains.
It showed a sad and lost little girl that her Father loves her and fights for her.
It showed a man of God fighting for his identity that the creator of the universe loves him for who he is, not who he thinks he should be.
It showed us we are worthy.
It showed us none of this has been in vain.
And it made us stop and ask why.
To which the Father tenderly replied, "Because whether you've got your butt in the mud and your pitching a fit and making a total mess or whether you're walking hand in hand with me you are loved."
Now we can finally hear what was being said every time someone wrote us a check or handed us a twenty dollar bill or bought some crazy expensive gear or donated their house and time for a yard sale or handed over their iPad (the one I'm typing this blog on…): "We love you. We see Jesus in you and believe in what he's doing in you. We 're invested in you."
Now we realize that didn't stop on December 1, 2012.
So, because we haven't said it enough and probably won't ever be able to say it enough…
THANK YOU!
Thank you to every single person who donated to us, believed in us, prayed for us, looked us in the eyes and spoke life over us, hugged us tight, showed us grace and mercy when we were fragile, and walked with us on this incredible journey that we thought would end after eleven countries in eleven months but has only just begun. Thank you for believing in us even when we didn't believe in us. Thank you for letting the father use each of you to reflect His love for us.
Not that I desire your gifts; what I desire is that more be credited to your account. I have received full payment and have more than enough. I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4: 17-19
