I am not a person who dislikes change.
I usually welcome it with open arms unless it’s too much change too fast, which I think overwhelms most people.
But I don’t like feeling unsettled.
Anytime Justin and I moved (which we have done 7 times since getting married) I would immediately start unpacking and settling into our new living arrangements. Sometimes I would stay up all night because it was impossible for me to rest with boxes sitting around that needed to be emptied.
I just want wherever we are to feel like home…
I started writing this blog during month one in the DR:
The say we arrived in the Dominican, as soon as the other teams left for where they would be staying, I went into unpacking mode.
We were lucky enough to have our own room so I set up a table in our room and put the books neatly in the corner. I hung up our laundry bad and set our shoes neatly under the table. I folded the clothes and “made” our beds.
We are now in month two in Haiti:
We have been blessed with our own room again! But this time God upped the Ante…
We don’t just have our room but we have a queen size bed, a dresser, AND our own bathroom.
Just like in the DR, the first chance I got I unpacked and settled in.
Something didn’t feel right in the DR and still doesn’t feel right in Haiti.
I haven’t felt “settled in” since we left Florida a month and a half ago.
I feel more chaotic than ever.
Bur the uneasiness I feel has nothing to do with my surroundings.
Everything is neatly in it’s place.
My comfort level should be at an all time high…
I have successfully been OCD on the World Race!
This uneasiness is in my heart…
There is a storm brewing.
It’s turbulent and chaotic and things are being pulled to the surface when each little earthquake shakes or hurricane swirls things up in my spirit.
So, here I am…
Where those who have gone before told me I would be at some point on this kingdom journey…staring brokenness in the face.
I’m afraid, feeling weak, and unsure but I know who goes before me.
So, here’s to brokenness and the beauty that comes from it!
May I never be the same.
