Do you even lift, bro?
Just kidding. I can’t believe I started a blog like that but here I am.
It’s been a while.
I’ve been home for around three months now and it feels like I’ve already been home for a year. Maybe even more than a year. I’ve been working and I’ve been working out. God has been teaching me big things in the small things. Because I’m just…waiting.
When you come out of a life of moving every month and traveling every month and doing different ministry every month, “normal” seems very slow. I go to work and do the same thing…every month. I stay in my family’s home…every month. I go to the same church and do the same things…every month. No wonder three months feels like three years and when we look back it’s really been three decades and now we’re thirty and mad about it.
I’m only 23 but I can see how quickly we become stuck. How quickly I start to second guess the dreams the Lord has given me. Because it’s been three months and I haven’t moved towards any of them and I can’t until after summer and I just want to move forward! So I’m waiting. And while I wait I’m trying to work off the ten pounds I gained the first month of being home, so I’m running and lifting weights. And I’ve realized that I have absolutely no upper body strength. But I’m growing stronger and as I grow stronger the weights get heavier. This is how the Lord works too.
See God gives you these dreams and they are heavy but you can hold the idea in your hand. And as your dream grows, so do you. I’ve never had children but having Kingdom dreams must be a lot like it, because you have this cute little thing. Just this small fragile thing and then it grows and after a while (what I’ve been told seems too short of a while) you can’t hold your child anymore. It’s off and walking on its own and it’s probably bigger than you now. The dreams God gives us do this too.
And so while I wait and I’m lifting weights, I’m cherishing how small my dreams really are. How cute and tangible they are for the time being before I have to start working at getting it to grow. Before I have to learn how to let it go. Because ultimately these dreams aren’t about me and what I am going to do with my life. These dreams are God’s dreams and He’s just asking me to hold them for awhile. Even as the muscles in my arms scream for me to let go, even as the enemy tells me I’m too weak, even as my eyes grow big as God says, “It’s time to up the weight. Let’s dream bigger.”
