I don’t even know how to write blogs anymore. So much goes on daily that it is impossible to put everything into words. But today’s my birthday and I do birthday posts, so here goes.
I’ve been on the Race for ten months. I’ve been a team leader for seven of those months. And all of these months have felt like years. Honestly it feels as if life ends and begins again at the beginning of December (when the Race is over).
These past few months have probably been the hardest of the entire race for me. I’ve been stretched in my leadership abilities and have been tried and tested in my self-confidence, patience, compassion, and identity. It’s been shitty. Yet somehow so good.
I don’t know how God does that. How he takes all the ugly and somehow transforms it to something beautiful and full of light. I don’t know why He even bothers most of the time, but I’m glad He does. Because as my uncle told me seven months ago, “You can’t do this, He can, and He chose to use you.”
Leader of youth? Sure. Leader of grown ass women on an international spiritual journey? ….no? But God said yes and as they say in Africa, “If God says yes, who can say no?” Obviously not me. Some days I wish I could have. But would I still be who I am right now if I had? Probably not.
22 was a great year, but it was a hard year. There’s not many times a really hard year can go down as one of your best. So here I am, now 23. And Blink-182 told me that nobody likes you when you’re 23. But looking back on everything I walked through at 22, with everything I learned about myself and about God and life; It doesn’t matter who likes me.
And this eleven months was just the start of something bigger. Something I won’t always or ever understand. Something that will carry on through my life as I continue to try to say no to the things God has for me, but end up doing them anyway.
