Last month had its difficulties…more than I would have liked. But Papa used it for His good…like He always does. There were a lot of times that I was wrestling with myself, and I let my own fleshly desires win. I started finding things in people around me that I didn’t like, which Papa showed me that what I didn’t like in them was what needed to change in my life. Exactly like the verse from The Sermon on the Mount – “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? … You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matt 7) I was in the habit of complaining about those things I saw in others and thinking how hideous it looked on them without realizing I was looking the same way. I wasn’t looking in the mirror and seeing the “accessories” I was wearing every day – which one of them was impatience.
I’ve always struggled with this and have tried to change my ways, but I keep putting that accessory back on. The last week in Zimbabwe Papa challenged me in some pretty spectacular ways. He kept putting me in more and more situations that stretched my patience. I’m not saying I passed with flying colors, but I learned how to pass.
3 ways Papa helped me with the “patience test”:
1. Papa provided me with “tutors” that came in the form of my teammates. They knew my struggle and knew when I’m struggling. They helped me through those situations by their actions – either helping me leave the situation or being an example on how to be patient through them.
2. Papa provided me with a great calming mechanism. In times that I was getting impatient God gave me the ability to step aside, both physically and mentally, and take some deep breaths.
3. Most importantly, Papa has provided me with the answer sheet. The test is pretty easy, actually, because it’s all the same answer – Jesus. There is truly power in the name of Jesus! I’m learning to simply call out “Jesus help me” or simply one word “Jesus”, and learning that is all it takes. The more I call out to Jesus the more I find myself having some amount of patience to make it through. That’s because there’s power in the name of Jesus.
Papa has given me the answer to pass with flying colors, but there are times that I still choose to work on this problem on my own. That’s when I fall back into my fleshly desires and let the impatient accessory take over.
Someone once told me that it takes 21 days to break a habit. I’m still in the beginning process of killing my pride and habit of fixing my impatience on my own. This can be pretty difficult when I’m not used to automatically calling on Jesus and walking away from these situations, but every time I overcome my own pride and lean on Jesus it becomes easier.
My encouragement for you is to not give up. It takes more work doing things on your own than giving up your pride and leaning on Jesus. We are constantly reminded throughout the Bible that Papa will never leave us or forsake us. He is with you through this process. So keep running with endurance the race that is set before you, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross… (Hebrews 12.1-2)
