“Make me a sledgehammer so these walls can be torn down.”
This summer I decided to do something crazy… I signed up for my 3rd summer on staff at Lake View camps as a counselor/helper-to-the-director, right before I leave for the Race in September. Not much pay, not much time to fundraise at home, and not much time to spend with family and friends. So why am I doing this? This is why:
This week was High School Girls camp. Yes, you read that correctly, a week of only girls. Yes, there was drama, but what do you expect with around 55 teenage girls spending 5 days straight together? But there was also beauty.
I was praying like never before throughout this week. I prayed that God would tear down the walls these girls have built up over the years. Also that He would use me as a sledgehammer, and if I was hurt during the process then so be it. You’d think I would have learned my lesson from last year (read More Than A Song) and not have prayed a prayer that had a potential to end in pain. But no, this time I partially knew what I was getting myself into and was ready for what would come.
Walls were destroyed. Not just by me but also my fellow counselors. These ladies that I get to work with for the LORD are incredible women of God and loved like crazy this week. And they were also loved like crazy by these high school ladies. Walls were destroyed on both ends – campers and counselors.
Saying good bye to these ladies was the hardest this year than the last two summers. The other summers I knew I was coming back and would see them again in a year. Not this time. It finally hit me Friday morning that I wouldn’t see them next year. I had to tell them…no, I won’t be back next summer. I have built relationships with these beautiful, amazing daughters of God and I won’t be back next summer to see them grow.
I have 9 more weeks of this.
Tears were shed by many Friday morning, except me. Everything from this week didn’t hit me until 6:30 Friday evening while I was running. I barely made it a mile when I broke down and all that pain finally hit. (Awkward for the man who biked by and saw/heard me arguing with God.) Why? Why these girls? Why this camp? Why now?
If there’s one thing I have learned over the years is that GOD HAS A PLAN. I may get frustrated that I can’t see His whole plan but I’m learning to trust. I’m learning to trust that He has me here at camp this summer for a reason. Even if I’m not making enough money for the Race or not finding time for more fundraising or having to tell my campers I’m not coming back next year…I’m supposed to be here.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely excited for the Race and to be in Vietnam and Cambodia (LORD willing) by next summer when camp is going. When God calls us someplace we have to leave other things behind. For me, this is camp.
I won’t be gone for long, though. Camp is my second family…I’ll be back to see them:)
Grace and peace,
Hannah
***Last, but not least…I (we) have new sisters! Multiple girls gave their life to Christ this week and believed!! Heaven is full of angels rejoicing! [Luke 15:10]
