I’m glad this month is over.
There. I said it.
Now don’t get me wrong, this month has been great. I love my new team. They’re awesome and challenging and funny and they all love the Lord and the Race wouldn’t be the same without them. I’ve learned so much this month. 95% of our ministry has been door to door ministry and evangelism. I’ve learned how to preach at a moments notice, how to relate to someone you just met, and how to communicate the gospel when there’s a language barrier and your translator isn’t really a translator and doesn’t actually understand English very well. I’ve jumped off cliffs, camped in a rainstorm, preached in churches, prayed over sick men, women and children, hiked through villages, gone on runs and ended up with 20 kids trailing along, fed lunch to over 200 kids, witnessed the most beautiful worship, and I’ve been so tired at the end of each day that I can barely keep my eyes open.
It has been beautiful and inspiring to see how on fire our ministry contact is. Pastor Ronald has planted over 30 churches, has started a couple of schools, has funded the digging of wells in different villages and feeds all the kids in his church once a week. He has a passion for door to door evangelism and prayer like no other I’ve ever seen. He has a heart for Malawi and for the lost.
This past month we held Bible studies each night with him and one night, my teammate Katie read the first 5 verses of Romans 9. After about 2 weeks of ministry and already feeling worn out, it was something each one of us needed to hear.
Paul writes: “I am speaking the truth in Christ-I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit-that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according the the flesh. The are Israelites, and to them belong the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises. To them belong the patriarchs, and from their race, according to the flesh, is the Christ, who is God over all, blessed forever. Amen.”
“I wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers…” Do you long like that for people to know Christ? Does it bring pain to your heart when you think about your friends, family, neighbors and coworkers who don’t know the Lord? Do you care enough for their souls that you would give up your salvation so that they could be saved? Do you see the importance of the Gospel? Do you understand the depth of it? Do you fully understand their need of a Savior? I I think I would be hard pressed to find many people who could truthfully answer yes to all of those questions. I can’t answer yes to all of those questions.
After that night, we decided to read those verses every day before ministry. It’s so easy to become apathetic and simply go through the motions of ministry. It can become boring. Monotonous. Repetitive. Not to mention tiring. Oh gosh, it’s so freakin tiring. Constantly pouring out…all day. I forget why I’m doing what I’m doing.
So that’s about all I got for this one. To be honest with you, I don’t have some grand conclusion. I can’t say that I read Romans 9 a couple times, prayed a good prayer, and hallelujah, God cured me of my apathy. I can’t say that I just LOVE door to door evangelism SO MUCH, because that would be a bold faced lie. I can’t say that pouring out all day long actually fills me up because I have walked up to many houses thinking “what the heck am I going to say? I have absolutely nothing left.” So yes, I’m glad this month is over. Sometimes you need some space to decompress and think. Sometimes you need a couple of days to remind yourself why what you’re doing is important. Sometimes, you just need a break, even if that break is only 48 hours long and even if 15 of those 48 hours are spent riding on a bus to your next ministry location. Word on the street is that we’ll be doing some door to door ministry next month. Bring it on, Zambia.
