Noah has been on my mind recently. I try to imagine what life was like for him.
He had spent many, many hours building a really big boat. Then, he gathered up his family, and your not-so-average household pets, and one by one, two by two, they boarded the ship. (Could you even imagine that travel day?) God’s own hand sealed their fate. They watched their neighbours, their colleagues, their friends suffer a slow, choking death by drowning. They watched as a world in denial washed completely away.
And the cherry on top? They only had each other.
I have lived in community for every second of the last eight months, so I know that being shut inside an ark with the same people had to be tough.
And that’s how long Noah and his arkmates did it. Eight. whole. months.
By the end, I have to think that some aspects of life on the ark were getting to them.
Maybe it was the smell of the makeshift toilets, or the menagerie of moos and caws and roars. Maybe the ark was unbearably hot or impossibly cold. Maybe there was no way to maintain proper hygiene. Maybe nerves on the ark were wearing thin, and some of them wished they could get away for even a minute, and literally, physically, couldn’t.
I have to think that some days, life sucked a little bit.
And if I’m being honest, that’s where I am.
We are in Malaysia during its hottest month. Our town is experiencing a water crisis; we don’t have running water, and neither do half the restaurants and hotels around us.
At times, I fail my community; other times, my community fails me. Squadmates have gone home, changes are coming to our team, and my heart just hurts.
Some days, life sucks a little bit.
But there is a reason the Bible doesn’t dedicate many verses to this part of the story.
The fact is, Noah and his family were living in the center of blessing and salvation. Their very lives were a testament to the miracle of God’s divine grace and intervention.
And every day, God has to remind me that I am sitting in the front seat of the great adventure that is my life in Christ. And yes, it is a roller coaster ride, with its hills and valleys. And yes, sometimes, I’m terrified for my life, and all I want is for everything to stop for even the briefest of moments.
But the fact that I am here at all is only by the grace of God.
Only by the grace of God.
So, in accordance with our hosts’ prophesy over me, I wrote a poem.
It is a psalm, written from Noah’s perspective, but it is dedicated to my teammates (you know who you are), who are walking through a difficult season with incredible grace and strength. Your lives are testimonies for the Lord. I love you both very much.
Washed up.
Pounding, crashing, battering,
the waves are unrelenting.
How long, O Lord?
How long must we know grief?
How long must we feel brokenness?
The burden of separation,
In a way, the weight of
This place, where tears fall in Your bucket-
sized hands. Countless, and yet
You know their number.
And the rain that pours
Those drops, they are Yours.
How long, O Lord?
How long will the Source
suffocate and choke?
Swallowing up life and
spitting out
a remnant.
You have carried us upon
the waves of your relentless
pursuit and love. We drown
in the lavishes of
Your mercy.
How long, O Lord?
How long will I forget
The hope of your promise
The promise of your hope?
How long will I be
beaten down by
Your pounding,
crashing,
battering
grace?
