As many of you know, I have a HUGE heart for missions. I love the international church: the fact that we have believers all over the world who speak a different language and have a different culture; yet, we are unified in Christ and we all work to bring Kingdom to the world. I love different cultures, languages, and I simply just LOVE people. The Lord moves in very different and special ways, too, overseas in ways I don’t see in the US. And I’m generally a very passionate person.
However, I don’t think God is calling me to be a missionary. Let me explain…
Since I was about 10, I have wanted to do mission work. I love serving people and I love cultures. I have read about some admired missionaries (Amy Carmichael, Eric Liddell, etc.).
But since being on the Race, I also really love home–I have fellow believers (my Church) who I love and adore and I don’t want to be too far from them.
And frankly, the US is the harder mission field in some ways. So I want to do some sort of ministry or many ministries. Maybe, and this is me dreaming, but maybe I’ll be campus minister, or adopt, or youth ministry, or something else or all of it. But something I have asked God is, “Why did you give me such a heart for missions and the world, if I’m not called overseas?”
Now, this is when someone may say, “Oh, but you can do missions in the US!” And it is true, yes. But world missions is also SO important and I don’t want it to be undermined or forgotten! It’s different in many ways, although at it’s core it is still loving people.
But I think I know why I feel split. The word/picture that comes to my mind when I think about it is “bridge.”
I do believe I will be in the US long-term, but because I have a heart of a missionary and mindset of one in some ways, I can thus empower and encourage those overseas more. Do I know what that looks like currently? No. BUT, I’m excited at the possibilities about being able to sponsor kids (which I do already) in an orphanage, to be able to pray for missionaries I’m connected to (which I should do more anyways), to take short-term trips myself and bring others overseas so that they can experience it themselves, to encourage missionaries when they come back home or even when they are abroad, to encourage their children (third-culture kids or missionary kids), and whatever else.
I have so many dreams and I don’t know what it looks like, but this is where my heart is. I love those in the US and those overseas and I think God is going to allow me to do both. <3
