I’m not good enough.
Everyone has their demons that they struggle with. And this one is one of mine. I think too often “Am I doing enough?,” “Am I doing good enough?,” “I should do this or that….” in almost any situation just hoping to meet the line–whatever line that I may think is there or what others put on me. I can’t even tell you why that is one of my demons, but it is. And sometimes it beats me up REAL good.
But a couple days ago I had a thought.
“We are never good enough. Good enough marks a line. God says I’m MORE than good enough because He simply made me.”
That means we don’t have to strive for something that is honestly unattainable.
But to truly walk in that freedom, at least for me, I need to be aware of what I’m finding my IDENTITY in.
Is it in Christ or something else?
*side note* I DO NOT mean do you find your identity in being a Christian–that can get real dangerous. We are called Christians because we have accepted the gift that Jesus gave us and we GET to share it. We are not called Christians because of what we can do to be “good Christians.”
What I’ve been finding my identity in is something that He has been teaching me since the beginning of India. I have been in some leadership position or another the past 6 years of my life. I soon learned while on the Race that I find my identity and comfort too much in being a leader when I should be resting in the Father’s love for me and being His child.
However, if you have your identity in anything BUT Him, you are going to have problems. BIG problems. But if you learn to find your identity in being His child, being secure in His love–the benefits such as security, boldness, peace and so much more is INCREDIBLE. Because when you find your identity in Him, you are unshakable. Things people say can still hurt, but you are so much stronger when you find yourself in Him.
There are many things that are APART of who I am. I am a photographer, I am a leader, I love children, I love to serve, etc. They do make up who I am–but they should NOT be the CORE of my identity.
When I find my worth in other things, I will doubtless always be a failure because I am a human. *shocker*
Here are some examples:
-I am a leader. If I don’t get an “official” leadership position, does that mean I’m a “bad” leader? That I’m not good enough?
-When I don’t have a type of ministry in a month that I don’t flourish in, does that mean I’m a failure in ministry?
-If I am serving someone and I lose my patience for a moment, does that make me, again, a bad person? Not good enough?
It’s not who you are or what you do, but who God SAYS you are and how He made you. He has so much more for us if we trust Him.
Which is a lesson I’m just beginning to learn. These are words easy for me to say now, but this is something I’m just taking baby steps in. I’m still learning what it means to be His child and to rest in what HE thinks of me and it may take my whole life to learn. But I know that as I’m grasping this lesson, my life will radically be changed.
