So. I had a glorious revelation the other day;
I’m dating myself.
Alright, listen.
If you’ve ever seen the movie Runaway Bride (if you haven’t, get on it), my entire life is exactly like Maggie Carpenter’s (Julia Roberts). Well, without the fifteen proposals but definitely just like all of her relationships. I have changed myself so many stinking times in my life for a man or to fill an expectation that someone has of me or that I THINK someone has of me that I can’t actually remember who I am.
So…..I’m dating myself!
I am going through the amazing yet insanely messy process of figuring out who I actually am, what my likes and dislikes are, what I agree with and don’t agree with, etc.
And guess what…I like what I’ve found so far.
Here’s just a tidbit of what has been discovered:
1. I love walks. I love walking when I’m sad. I love walking when I’m mad. I love walking when I’m happy. I love walking and hanging out with the Lord. I. love. walks.
2. I feel the need to fill silences with meaningless chatter… I’m working on it.
3. One of my absolute favorite things to do is cook with music playing. My cooking is rough so I get to enjoy this lovely activity as much as possible when I get home to practice.
4. I fall in love hard and fast. Not just romantically but with everything: kids, chocolate, songs, puppies, etc. Aka I’m extremely passionate.
5. It makes me sick to my stomach when children are disrespectful to their parents.
6. My favorite quality about myself is being a daughter of The Most High King.
There are so many other things but I don’t want to bore you with all of the details.
Honestly, being myself and being completely transparent and vulnerable terrifies me. I’ve hidden behind a mask for so long that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to breathe freely and I came to the realization that that mask is a hinderence to the One I praise everyday.
Psalm 139: 13-14: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full and well.
You see, by hiding who I am, I am discrediting the One who created me. I am putting a veil over the beauty that He placed inside of me.
It’s time to rip that veil off and let the beauty radiate.
Thank you, Papa, for making me exactly who I am because it is perfect.
