Love. My whole life has revolved around it. I’m what you would call a hopeless romantic. Any time I would meet a married woman I would wait for just the right moment to ask the question that had been burning in my brain since the moment I said hello-“How did your husband propose?!” And I would listen, eyes glistening, dreaming of the day that my prince charming would come, sweep me off my feet and love me forever and ever no matter what.
I sought out this perfect love in every single relationship that I had with a man. I would morph myself into the person that I thought they wanted me to be just so I could feel more of this “unconditional” love that he dished out. When our relationship would fail I would be devastated, wondering what was wrong with me? But I would only wonder for about a half second before I jumped into my next relationship with my “real” prince charming, convincing myself that “this was the one” and swinging into my usual routine of tweaking and changing who I was just to please this man and feel more superficial love. I was a serial dater-jumping from relationship to relationship with enough time in between to take a breath and then say to my next possible suitor, “Yes, I would love to go out with you!” Always seeking, always failing.
Then, one day, I met him. He was perfect-brown hair, strong, chiseled face, and eyes that I get lost in every time I stare into them. I was in Heaven and immediately began my usual routine of trying to be who I thought he wanted me to be so I could be perfect for him. He called me out real quick. He told me that he had pursued me because of ME not who he thought he could make me. I was confused…this man loved me just how I was? Impossible. But my mind being focused on pleasing him, I figured I would try it out, I would try to be just who I was if that’s what he really wanted.
We began our courtship slowly, getting to know one another, listening to each other’s triumphs and trials, breaking down walls and barriers that had been built over years of heartache. He pursued me, he loved me more and more each day, he picked me up when I was broken and he never once strayed to another. He made me feel a vulnerability I didn’t know I was even capable of and told me that I was most beautiful in those messy, raw moments. So, what was my initial reaction when I realized how intense and how pure this love was? Run. Run like hell. Nothing is this perfect, nothing exists like this, no possible person can love another after they’ve seen every piece of their dirty laundry-all things I kept telling myself as I ran for the hills. And you know what he did? You know what he did when I slapped him in the face by running away after he had opened his heart and poured out his love onto me? He came after me. He continued to pursue me. His love for me grew even deeper and he told me I’d stray and run many other times but he would always be there, waiting with open arms.
The best part of this story? This unconditional love isn’t just mine. My prince charming, my beloved Jesus Christ, has a heart that’s not only overflowing with love for me but also for you too. I am experiencing a love that I have dreamed of my entire life and I know that it will never end. I also know that Jesus has chosen a husband for me, a husband that will love me for me and not the many molds that I’ve made for myself. And when the day arrives where He brings us together, I will be honored to be able to overflow my love onto him just as Jesus overflows it onto me, never losing sight of my first, my True Love.
