I think there is a nasty habit in the world right now, where men get all of the blame for the way women’s expectations aren’t being met. Turns out, as I look at myself and the world around me, us women are pretty guilty for the things we expect of you too.
We don’t always realize we are doing it, but we put a lot of pressure on you.
We want you to be strong, protective, proactive and manly. But then, we watch the new Nicholas Sparks movie and wonder why you aren’t sensitive, gentle and in-touch with your emotions enough to let us see you cry.
I think the idea of brotherhood got lost somewhere between the days of Clark Gable’s chivalry and Kanye West’s cockiness. Women expect men to fill the gaps in their heart and when they don’t, we chalk it up as “not the one,” and move along to the next prospect. We don’t stick around any longer than it takes to realize you aren’t giving us what only Jesus can.
There is so much more we can do for you, so much more that God empowered us with if we would only look at you as the flawed, in-progress brothers in Christ that you are.
Yes, as women we deserve to be valued and protected. But as men, you deserve to be respected and honored. You do not deserve to be categorized by what you can give us and never asked what we can be doing to help you become more like Jesus.
The bible doesn’t tell us that men were created in completion; without room for growth or development. You’re allowed to have weaknesses, you’re allowed to be fought for and you are expected to mess up every once in awhile. You deserve the chance to just be.
You’re not perfect. It isn’t all on you.
You don’t have to try and be who Jesus is creating you to be and all the while, fulfill the expectations of every girl who crosses your path.
We need more men like you, who are willing to admit they aren’t perfect. Who are willing to take the time needed to figure out who God wants them to be and what it’s going to take in order to get there. We need men like you to stand up, set boundaries and point us towards Christ. Women need more men like you, but that doesn’t mean every woman needs you.
You are not insensitive or incapable of affection just because you can’t be available to us.
You haven’t failed the female race just because you step back and let Jesus be the one to meet our expectations.
So, to the men in my life; the pressure is off. I am going to spend more time praying for your heart and less time needing it. I’m going to try to respect who you are working so hard to become and stop expecting the finished product. I’m going to choose the reality that you are not, can never be and should not want to be the God of my heart.
I ask that you forgive us for the way we give ourselves more grace than we give you. For the way you have to work overtime just to make sure we aren’t asking for more than what you have to offer.
I ask that you forgive us for the way we expect a leader without giving you the freedom to fail a few times first.
Let’s agree to hold each other to standards that Jesus sets. To accept that we are both worthy of being chosen, pursued, loved, respected & completely adored by the same Father.
Let’s point each other toward Him and hope that in the process, we would be stretched and refined and in the end, look a bit more like Jesus than when we started.
