Part Three
Constant One | Steffany Gretzinger
In the moment
I am hiding
Your love, it seeks me out
And you hold me
And you know me
From the inside out
From the inside out
Constant one
Endless is your Love
Like a river can’t be stopped
You’re faithful
Constant One
Who is like you, God?
Your Mercy’s like the sun,
Always rising
Over us
It’s amazing
How you take me
Just for who I am
In the valley
In the Mountains
I’m always in your hands
I’m always in your hands
Constant one
Endless is your Love
Like a river can’t be stopped
You’re faithful
Constant One
Who is like you, God?
Your Mercy’s like the sun,
Always rising
Over us
And there is no place that I could run
That you wont chase me down
That you wont chase me down
And there is no place that I could hide
That I will not be found
That I will not be found
Constant one
Endless is your Love
Like a river can’t be stopped
You’re faithful
Constant One
Who is like you, God?
Your Mercy’s like the sun,
Always rising
Over us
**Authors Note: this blog series was originally written about two weeks ago. I was informed by some people that because I had been posting them with such time in between, it maaayyyybbeee seemed like this whole month has been the worst, which is just not true. While it’s had its moments, since the morning I talk about in this blog, which was September 15th, it has been wonderful.
I have always envied Beth Moore, Jen Hatmaker, Christine Cain, Mike Bickle more recently, for their obvious intimacy with The Lord. I always wondered how one got to that point, and just figured it would take a while, seeing how they’re all in their 40s and up. Of course my time spent with The Lord has always been sweet, but it often felt lacking. Like there was only room for the really beautiful moments with The Lord every once and a while.
But let me tell you something, The Lord is so much more beautiful than I could have imagined and I have begun to fall in love with Him all over again because He is showing me how He feels about me and let me tell you, it’s pretty spectacular.
Remember where we left off?
Not at all relaxed and far from rejuvenated, we got back to Quiche Sunday night ready to sleep til Jesus came back.
And being back was like a breath of fresh air, the kind of air I hadn’t breathed in weeks.
5:30am came with immense peace the next morning (yes, I wake up at 5:30 am here, mostly without an alarm, soooo??……) and my time with Jesus was full and refreshing. He showed me how complicated I had made our relationship and His Love.
It was that morning that I began to let him romance me again, something I hadn’t let him do for a very long time.
God said something like, “Hannah. If you expect to find rest and reprieve by leaving, by going somewhere new, you’re going to spend the next 10 months constantly exhausted and worn down. You cannot find rest in a place. I am your rest. I am your reprieve. Nothing else will do. So, can you just spend time with me? Can I show you over the next 10 months how deeply I care for you, how magnificently I love you? I’d really like if I could show you that.”
So each morning I wake up, ready to see what he has for me. And sometimes it’s just a verse in a song that I HAVE to write down and stare at for a while, because it so perfectly depicts the beauty of my King. And sometimes it’s been a bible verse He puts on my heart, and it’s like a small, thoughtful gift at the end of a long day. And other times it’s just communicating with him, about anything and everything. I’ve also just started a study on Song of Solomon and let me just teeeellllll you, it’s rocking my life.
I wanted to share some of the phrases, verses, lyrics, etc that the Lord has been gifting me with every morning!
- “There’s no place that I could ever run that you won’t chase me down.”
- Hebrews 4:12-13
- “I know I sin, but You are ravished by me.”
- “The Holy Spirit has a fierce loyalty, and He has a determination and He has a jealousy for Jesus, to exalt Him in the human heart.”
- “You are Great and You are Good.”
- “You know me. You know me. You know me. You know me. And You desire me for Yourself.”
- “You are enough when you are hidden in Him.”
- “I will lift my eyes I the Healer of the hurt I hold inside.”
- “Hannah, I enjoy you, I enjoy you, I long for you, I want you, I enjoy you.”
- Psalm 119:34-37
- “Preserve my life in Your Righteousness.”
- “I am restless til I rest in You”
- “My strength of soul You increased”
- “We are most transformed when we understand what God thinks about us and what he feels about us.”
It is beautiful and it is peaceful and it is life giving. It makes each day worth walking through with joy. I serve a faithful God. A God who provides for me and loves me and teaches me and cares for me and cheers me on every single moment.
Guatemala has been a lot of things I didn’t think it would be. I knew this wouldn’t be a cake walk, but this month has been hard in ways I didn’t really think of. It has been full of demolition and lots of pastries and coffee and new friendships and hot showers and laughter and a pretty solid amount of tears and a handful of bus rides with 100 Guatemalans.
I don’t know what other racers feel about month one. I don’t know if they feel as thrown off guard as I felt. But the World Race is not this 24/7 massively romantic adventure I think I had dreamed up. It is life. Yes, life in 11 different, beautiful, interesting countries, but even still, it’s just life. The same things annoy you, new things annoy you, sometimes things don’t go your way, sometimes you need to go to bed at 8pm, sometimes you spend the night watching movies on your laptop with your team, and your relationship with The Lord doesn’t magically become this force to be reckoned with- it still takes work. Maybe it even requires more work than your day to day life in America would. Because it takes a humble heart to love your team everyday, to be around 55 people during all-squad month, to do feedback every night, to do ministry that doesn’t automatically get your missionary heart beating, to not miss your people back home always, to do the Kingdom work you’ve been called to, no matter the cost.
There is so much hope. Hope in a year that will push me probably more than I want to be pushed. Hope in a God who has a beautifully romantic life planned for his beloved Daughter.
Our next couple days are full of packing and cleaning and last minute things. Then at 4am on Thursday we’ll start our 24-hour travel day, bussing all of our 52 World Racing selves all the way to Nica- hopefully to arrive sometime early Friday morning!!
WE MADE IT TO MONTH TWO, YALL. Can you even believe it? Because I just can’t. I’ll say it a million times over, but thanks for believing in me and supporting me and loving me.
I’m still short about $1500 for my next financial deadline ($11,000 by Dec 1st) so please be praying about how you can support me and keep me on this amazing journey!!!
