“I have a great need for Christ, and a great Christ for my need.”
-Charles Spurgeon
So let me invite you into an intimate, vulnerable moment . Let me invite you into my heart’s prayer, my spirit’s cry.
Lord, we’ve been walking this thing out for almost 22 years now and sometimes I still feel like the newborn lamb who struggles on shaky legs to walk for the first time. You told your faithful 11 to go into all the nations and make disciples. You told Abraham to leave his home and that in turn you’d make him into a great nation. You told Joseph how to interpret dreams and you shut the mouths of lions for Daniel and you taught Paul how to speak life into your new Church. You did those things and countless others, so countless the stars in the sky cannot compare. And yet, most times I feel like Peter, who loved you immensely but still denied you three times before your death. Peter. One of Jesus’ closest disciples. You know I like Peter. We’d get each other, if he were still walkin’ on this fine earth. Peter was so passionate, and even when he denied you, or that one time he almost drowned from lack of faith, your love for him was not lessened by a single drop. You love me. You are behind me. And you are turning parts of me towards your love that I didn’t even realize had strayed. Please mend me. Fix this allusion I’ve created that your love can’t transform one second to the next. I thought I knew how much I’d grow when I accepted the World Race, but I’m beginning to think I really have no idea what’s in store. So here I am. On my knees, arms stretched out, ready to give most things up at your altar of peace. And the other things…well it’s a process right? I just want to be used up, Lord. I want to learn. You know I love to learn. I want to see you work in crazy ways and be able to talk about it for the rest of my life and tell endless stories to my grand children while I sit on my porch swing sippin’ on sweet tea. I want to see you transform hearts before my eyes and I want my obedience to be apart of that. I want in. Send me. Not just to 11 countries, but to people who need your grace, forgiveness, and love. Send me to build up leaders. Lord, we leave. A month in, we leave, on to the next country and on to more lessons. But the people we build relationships don’t. So use us to build up leaders and world changers in every country we step foot. Because at the end of time I want to see those faces in heaven, I want to sit next to them in worship for the rest of eternity. I want to sit next to them in worship now, actually. You know me. You know the complexities of my soul that keep me awake at night and the joys of my heart that send me soaring through the day. You know me. And you will not only grow me over the next year, but so many others will come to know you and know you more intimately because of your work in me. And that is the only reason this life is worth fighting for.
