One of the greatest memories of my childhood begins with doing math homework. Don’t worry, the homework doesn’t contribute to the magnitude of the memory, or the goodness of it. I was twelve years old. I was (and still am) a horrid procrastinator, so I was up late trying to finish the assignment. Sometimes I watched television while doing homework. I can’t focus when a room is silent. This particular night, I was listening to the radio, J93.3 to be exact. I listened to it every single night as I fell asleep. I would sometimes call in and request ridiculously cheesy Christian songs of the 90’s, complete with keyboard synthesizers. You know the ones.
Hear me calling, hear me calling You’re lost and alone
Leave it to me
I’ll lead you home
So let it go and turn it over to
The one who chose to give his life for you
Just leave it me I’ll lead you home
Leave it to me, I’ll lead you home.
In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not math homework, not the turmoils of adolescence, not even the pain behind my prayer request. In that moment, I didn’t feel alone. Whenever I hear that song, I’m taken back to that place of assurance. The darkest of days has no bearing when it’s faced with that song. I close my eyes and I’m reminded of how God worked in my life that night, and how he’s still working now.
One of the most impactful verses that I’ve come across over the last year is Deuteronomy 4:9.
“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live.”
This instruction to remember was given to the Israelites as they continued to wander through the desert in search of the Promised Land. God had delivered them from slavery. He guided them by a cloud by day and fire by night. He faithfully rained down manna each day. They watched the seas part as they stood at the edge of the water. They walked across the dry land, and watched their pursuers perish. They witnessed these things with their own eyes, but still they turned away. They questioned, they doubted, and they chose idols over their Deliverer. Initially, I was baffled when pondering the attitudes of the Israelites. How could they possibly turn away? Did they not see what God had done for them?
The problem wasn’t that they didn’t see. The problem was that they forgot. The desert heat and the long days made them theorize that returning to living as a slave might just be the better option. Am I so unlike them? God has given me so much. He’s carried me through so much. He’s blessed me far beyond anything I could ever deserve. I’ve seen him move in ridiculously amazing ways. But so often, I forget. I forget what my eyes have seen…I let them slip from my heart. I turn to lovers so less wild.
Just like hearing I’ll Lead You Home takes me back to the place of recognizing what God’s done in my life, I hope to be taken back time and again with memories from this trip.
I’ll remember the wind at the Cliffs of Moher…
The tears that flowed from our Romanian Papa’s eyes when we bought him a chainsaw
The final night worship service at the Awakening
How we went from being homeless in an Albanian park to sleeping in beds of our own
Gazing on the Sea of Galilee, trying to fathom all that had taken place there
The plane touching down in Africa, knowing that God made my dream come true
Hearing the stories of abductees in Northern Uganda
Spontaneous church in Nancy and Santo’s house
Holding hands in a circle with our Kenyan church members as they sang in perfect harmony
The hugs and smiles from the kids at Treasures of Africa
Preaching at a church at the base of Kilimanjaro
Praying for lepers in Vietnam
A blind child named Puppy singing If You’re Happy and You Know It
Watching a blind man begin to cry as we prayed for him in Cambodia
Hosting the crusade for over 100 villagers
Meeting the bar girls that we now call friends…
Treading through the hot desert sand
Each step drawing closer to an unseen promised land
With a cloud by day and fire by night
The haunting shadows of Egypt still in sight
The bread fell like snow, the sweet water flowed
Their God delivered
The waters were parted as they walked on dry land through the sea
But they still fell as the heavy veil clouded their memory…
Remember what he’s done for you and for me
His grace is amazing
And never forget that his truth sets us free
Time and again he’s been faithful to show
How he loves us so
Remember.
I too have know what it means to be free
The chains of fear and pain shattered completely
He lifts me up each time I fall
Redeems the storms and holds me tighty through it all
His grace falls like snow, the sweet mercy flows
My God delivers
I’ve tasted and seen that the Lord’s been so good to me
But the cold dark rain always seems to cloud my memory…
Remember what he’s done for you and for me
His grace is amazing
And never forget that his truth sets us free
Time and again he’s been faithful to show
How he loves us so
Remember.
