A couple weeks ago I was so excited to be back in Africa! It’s a place I fell in love with 3 years ago when I went there for the first time on a mission trip. It’s also the place that I have dreamed about visiting multiple times since I was 6 years old. So obviously I was ready to come back. However, I never dreamed that my first two weeks back in Africa would be how they have been.
The first week I was out doing ministry but since I wasn’t feeling well most of the week I didn’t have my full energy level and for a lot of the time I had to sit down and not participate in the games with the kids. Basically I felt worthless during ministry because all I was really doing was telling a Bible stories and holding the babies so they wouldn’t get hurt when the others were playing games. This week hasn’t been any better.
It started out as any normal day. Monday morning I was just walking in the courtyard going to get my laundry when all of a sudden I fell. It wasn’t just a fall where I could just get back up and laugh it off. It was one of those falls where you sit there because you are in so much pain and you don’t know if everything is okay. In fact I knew everything wasn’t okay because when I fell I heard something in my foot pop. It wasn’t one of those pops where it will just be sore and you can walk it off. It was a pop that you know shouldn’t have happened. When I was finally able to look, my foot had already started swelling and the pain kept getting worse. When I got up to walk and could barely walk on it I knew I wouldn’t be going out and doing ministry.
Tuesday came around and I went to the doctor. He said I have tissue damage. I’m not sure if I completely agree since there wasn’t an x-Ray done. He said that I needed to stay off of it. That’s when I asked the question I regret asking. I asked “For how long?” He said “For at least a week.” I can do one day of sitting around but a week!? So Tuesday afternoon as the rest of my team goes out to do ministry and I’m stuck back at the motel trying to find some way to keep busy I had a pity party.
I asked God why me so many times. Why am I the one who has to miss a week when I was so looking forward to being back in Africa and being with the people. That’s when He said He wanted me to learn to be dependent on others. This is also so hard since I’m such an independent person. I wrote a blog titled Broken Independence about this a few months ago after training camp about how He was teaching me to be dependent on others there too. Obviously I would like to say that I’m thankful that He is teaching me something out of this. However, if I’m being completely honest I’m not enjoying it at all. I would love to be out with my team building relationships with people in the villages and sharing to people about God’s love but obviously that’s not what God had in mind for this week.
To end on a positive note since I like to find the positive side in everything, I had been asking God for time to just sit and rest and I’m definitely getting all the rest I was asking for.
