I don’t know about you but I have a love/hate relationship with my emotions of anxiety, stress, fears, and discouragements.
I’ll be honest with you, there was a couple weeks during pre launch month (between end of July and now) where everything was good. I was ready to go, I had no fear, no anxieties, no stress, no discouragement thoughts. I was in a good stage.
Because I was in a good stage, I didn’t pray as much as I should. I didn’t depend on God because I thought I didn’t need too. I have always struggled with depending on God during the “good” times. But honestly I liked the good times. I liked being stress-free. I loved not having anxieties and not having discouragement thoughts. Although there were lots of time during the good times where I truly missed God. I thought, “God where are you?”
Then BAM. All the emotions of stress, discouragement, fear, and anxieties hit me. I hated it so much, I wanted to go away. I wanted to curl up in my bed and just cry. But then I realized something. This is the perfect time to turn to God, to depend on him. So I did.
“God, I don’t know what to do here. I’m having anxieties of leaving my family. I’m stressed about packing. I’m getting discouraged and fearful of going. I don’t know if I can do this. Help me Father. I need you. I need your light, your warmth”.
The Lord was with me during the emotional times of the last few weeks. Whenever I started having anxieties, He was right next to me. He gave me strength to stay calm. When I started feeling discouraged, he reminded me how I am wonderfully and fearfully made. He reminded me that I’m HIS child. When I started getting fearful of going on the race, He reminded me that there IS a purpose in this and I needed to trust Him. He was there through it all.
Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
As much as I hated feeling the emotions, I actually loved it. Because during those times, I was learning how to depend on God. I was feeling His presence. I was able to learn how to cope with my emotions and let God take care of it. I acknowledge Him!
That makes me even more excited about the race because I know there will be days that I am going to hate it. But those days will be the perfect time to really depend on God and learn how to deal with the emotions rather pushing them away. Learn how to deeply rely, pray and being in presence in Him. Emotions are a beautiful thing, it’s a part of life that the Lord created for us!
1 Corinthians 10:13: No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
And as for the good days, I also have to learn how to depend on Him as well. By doing that I can be praying for others, love others as much as He would. Tell others about who He is as a person. That’s a beautiful dependence.
Psalm 18:2: The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shields, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
For the racers/non racers: Remind yourself while you are on a journey, during the bad days AND the good days, God is with you. He will catch you and He will show you the beauty of your emotions. He will show you LIFE!
