Dear future racer, may the odds be ever in your favor. Just kidding, well sometimes. I’m sitting on a bus going back ‘home’ from an adventure day in Penang, Malaysia and a song comes on my iPod called “carpe diem” by a band called You Me At Six. Listening to it I’m reflecting on the past 7 months of my life. I’m currently in month 8 of my race and let me tell you, your mind is about to be blown by all the beautiful places you are about to go to.
So, carpe diem, right? The line in the song is “carpe diem till the bitter end,” seize the day until the bitter end. I’m pretty sure it’s a song about a relationship, but just go with me. Thinking about all of the different places I’ve been, people I’ve met and things I’ve seen, I don’t think I can honestly say I have “carpe diem-ed” every day on the race.
Month 2 of my race was an all squad month and half way through the month we were all called to Lesvos, Greece to help with the refugee crisis. In this month I learned that I wasn’t taking advantage of being around everyone on my squad. I chose to hang out with one of my friends on my team and with people we met while on the island. This is the month I learned that I want to be chosen just as much as people want me to choose them.
Fast forward a few months and we are in month 4 and all the women of my squad are together for two weeks while the guys are doing manistry. As the race progressed, I became more introverted so I didn’t want to be around everyone all the time. I spent the first few days not choosing to spend time with women who I don’t get to spend a lot of time with. I spent it with my friends who were safe to be around. Then I remembered Greece and how I wanted to take advantage of spending time with people while I can. I chose to seize the opportunity and the season The Lord put me in. Feel free to read my post The Sacred Garden to see how that turned out.
Then month 7, we’re in a surprise round three of all squad month and I wanted nothing to do with my squad at this point. My introverted side had gotten the best of me and I selfishly wanted to be with my team and my team only. I know I didn’t choose to take advantage of every moment that month and I look back and yeah, I have some regrets. I wish I spent more time getting to know the youth we worked with. I wish I spent more time hanging out with my best friend rather than letting the enemy tell me she didn’t want to. I wish I spent more time pursuing my teammates because I’m no longer on a team with any of them. I wish I spent more time pursuing The Lord instead of hiding in my room.
I want to tell you to remember to seize every day. Every opportunity you have to get out of you head and your comfort zone, I want to tell you to take it. You won’t regret the times you chose to do something a little scary. The days are long, but the months are short. I don’t want to look back on another thing in life and say “I wish I had…” Something I’m learning and working to do right now is to choose love, to choose joy, and to choose my teammates. The race is hard, life is hard, these are things to remember every single day. Before the race, during the race, forever.
So here’s to you, future racer. Carpe diem.
